Jasmine Yepez BJJ Wife KK Unite 2

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My name is Jasmine Yepez. I am a wife of a jiu-jiteiro black belt named, Bam Bam Yepez, or Louis, Louis. so he's currently out of Solidarity in San Jose. he's moved around quite a bit since he started jiu-jitsu, I think he started at Claudio Franca's in San Jose, and then Gilroy BJJ. he was at BJJ Society for a little bit, and then Solidarity. Wow. So all these transitions, I honestly am 100% for it because jiu-jitsu's a business, right? it's not... While there is some camaraderie and, like- You know, you wanna be around people you wanna be around, but at the same time, it's a business. So if the business is not giving you what you need, you gotta go find it somewhere else. All right. Not to say anything bad about any of the other gyms that he's trained at, 'cause they've all been great were giving him what he needed. Mm-hmm. But sometimes it's location. because he started in San Jose. We were living in San Jose. And then he started training with a lot of people in Gilroy, and he really liked the atmosphere at the time there. And so he was from South San Jose driving to Fremont every day for work, driving home, and then driving to Gilroy at night and coming back. Wow. That doesn't leave a lot of family time. It left nothing really, and he was exhausted. So I said, "Hey, I can go wherever. Do we wanna move to Gilroy so that at least if you're still going to Fremont, you can come home and you're not traveling as far for jiu jitsu?" And so we moved to Gilroy for jiu jitsu. There was no reason for us to be there. And he just decided like, "Yeah, that, that's what works for me." So we've been in Gilroy since 2018. and then it's funny, now he's back in San Jose training. Right. but it works out because he works in San Carlos and I work in Menlo Park, so we'll go to work together. or at least the days that we go together, but he can hit jiu jitsu on the way home. Right. And then still... So it, we always try to make it like so it works in the path of however we're going. Yeah. yeah. Makes it easier. So what are the funnies about jiu jitsu? Oh. Being a wife, being able to be on the sidelines and see the stuff that these guys go through. I love the jiu jitsu chisme. I love when he comes home to tell me something happened. He heard something that was going on. I love the little jiu jitsu drama. it's honestly like a novela half the time. There's something going on. There's somebody beefing with somebody. somebody had an attitude, was mad that they got choked. You know? Like, it's so funny to watch these grown men majority of the time. women as well, but the men seem to have- these visceral reactions to things. Too much ego sometimes. it's hilarious, and my husband has zero ego. he doesn't care. Yeah. He just, he doesn't let that kind of stuff bother him, and he's not The one thing I'll say is he's never looking to win. Like, that's not his goal. If he wins a session, if he wins a tournament, that's great. But his goal is to roll. Is to learn and enjoy it and have a great time. So he's not looking to dominate people and- oh, I love to choke people, you know. Although I do tell him, "Hey, you can't come home if this person chokes you," like. You give him rules. Like, there's certain people His best friend just started training recently, and I was like, "You never let him win. Never." "He can never get you. Don't go light on him. And even if you are trying to let him roll and learn a move, you still, he can never get you." Like, that's one rule for certain people that I have. I'm like, "Don't do it." Do you think that guy's ego would blow up and he- Oh. Devastated. Absolutely devastated. He's here today. he's definitely here with us, and, watching him, I'm like... I tell everybody, I said, "If it's him, you get him." You know, it's fun. I, that's the one thing I like. I'm involved. I know a lot of wives aren't necessarily involved with everybody. Like, they show up, and they support their family- and their kids and husbands and, or, vice versa, wives being supported by their husbands. But I actually know everybody, and I'm joking around- and having a good time, and I like being a part of that. It's fun to- Yeah talk shit and joke around- and yeah. You're one of the original photographers for, the Koffee Krew. Yeah. I love taking the pictures. I had to take a break. It just, it People start to ask all the time, "Oh, can you take pictures of me at a tournament? Can you do this?" Right. "Can you do that?" And it's like, "Yeah, I'm already there. Sure, why not?" But then it gets exhausting when they're like, "Okay, when are you sending me the pictures?" I'm like- Right "Dude, I don't take one picture." I'm rapid shotting this, so I gotta go through, a thousand pictures from a tournament- Right to find the best one of you. Like- Yeah and I really just went there to shoot for my husband, and he doesn't even care. I have so many pictures of my husband. He's like, "Okay, I don't care." he just, that's not him. So- Yeah I, I had to take a break from it, but- It's a lot of work. It is. It's the editing. and me, I just wanna take it. I just wanna take it and find the best one from what I took. I don't even wanna edit any of them. I don't wanna throw a filter on anything. actually, tournament-wise, and I won't name names, but, I took an amazing picture of someone getting choked out- and they were not happy about me posting it. And I'm just like, "Okay." And, he was really mad. He didn't say anything to me directly, but he said it to a lot of other people. And I said, "Okay, so if I was an official photographer for IBJJF- are you gonna say something to that person about posting the picture of you getting choked? It's not my fault you got choked." Like, that's your fault, dude. Sorry. Like, get out of here. And so I didn't- It's the power of the camera. Hey, it wasn't... and me capturing it wasn't, to make fun of him. not my goal at all. If it's a good shot- you wanna post it. One of my favorite shots, too, 'cause it was taken from the back. He just... Oh, he had him. And I'm like, "Oh, this is gonna be so good." And then, yeah, it annoyed me, but at the same time, I'm just like, "It is what it is, dude." Yeah. If you're that fragile that you can't be like, "Damn, that's a really good photo of me getting choked," like- Yeah, that's that's amazing. it is what it is. Yeah. you're bad. Sorry, dude. Wow. So you're so supportive with your husband in regards to this, this community. when I met my husband, he hates me telling these stories I love... Let's tell them. But I love it. I attribute him to, he was like somebody's drunk homeless uncle. he was just the, he was the guy that was around. Everybody knew him. He was just having a good time, living his best life. he definitely is not that person anymore. And I won't attribute it all to jiu jitsu, but I wanna say a lot of it was jiu jitsu. And for him, he's an undercover sports guy. Like, you see him, you don't think he plays sports. You're looking at him like, "Eh, I could take this guy." And I think a lot of people go after him on the mats because of that. he's not a super fit dude or anything like that, so people go, "Oh, I could take him." Right. And then they find out really quick that they can't. Yeah. And so one day he was just like, "I'm gonna do jiu jitsu." And I was like, "Okay. Sure." Like, it was not anything that was a part of a conversation. It wasn't like we were watching a lot of MMA or anything. he just out of nowhere was like, "I'm gonna do jiu jitsu." I said, "Okay. Sure. Let's do it." Mm-hmm. And it's literally turned into our whole lives. And, I have no real life, so it's turned into my life as well. But, we've met amazing people because of it. Right. Like, so many good friends, people that we absolutely would keep in our life because of it. So I have to support it. there's no... it became the catalyst for a lot of the good decisions that he's made. And, you know, he doesn't really drink. Like, it's so rare if he has a drink ever. He used to smoke packs of cigarettes. He has not smoked in years because of jiu jitsu. And I was trying to get him to stop forever- and he wouldn't do it. And so what I like about it is it was a decision that he made for himself, and he has continued with it. So if I can support a positive, life change, I'm gonna do it 100%. Yeah. Whatever he needs and wants. You know, he was at a tournament yesterday for a friend. Yeah. How'd it go? And then we're here today. probably not that great for that friend, but, it's a learning experience. Yeah. And he was there to coach and help them out. he hasn't competed in a little while. and the last time he competed, he had a torn ACL, and he still competed. Oh, wow. had knee surgery right after. I watch him compete all the time, and It doesn't bug me. I'm always like, "Yeah, do it. Let's-" Yes. let's get it." The only time I have ever gotten, dizzy, oh my God, the guy grabbed his knee and it was- Ooh his bad knee, and I was like Ouch "I don't wanna end up in a hospital in Las Vegas because- he had to compete with a messed up knee." But nothing happened. He was fine. He had surgery afterwards, and, it is what it is. You support him. He gets hurt. Yeah. You help him out. I complain at him, tell him to rehab it properly. He doesn't listen to me. he's a good guy. he got his black belt This year, last year? I think it was this year. and it wasn't expected. While he tested for it- it really wasn't expected. He's not the kind of person that is like, "I deserve my blue belt. I deserve a belt." Right. And you hear that a lot in the community where people are like, "I'm better than this person. I need it." He's never once, never once been like, "I deserve this belt." Well- "This is mine." Yeah, because he's in it for the long run, the journey. Yeah. It's not about a belt. It's, just improving your skills. Yeah. No ego. 100%. You know, when he tested for his black belt, I told, Kiko and the guys at Solidarity, I said, "Hey, I'm not saying, this is your guys' thing, but if he does get his black belt, I need to know because I need... There's certain people that need to be there when he gets it." "So I need to know, okay? But I'm not telling you have to give it to him. I'm just saying, when you do." And so when he tested for it, I happened to be there that day, chilling out in the gym, and Kiko comes over and I go, "How'd he do?" He goes, "Ugh." He goes, "He's, he's like a C." And I said, "Hey, a C is passing. We're a C family." "We're winning here. A C is passing," so he got it. And he's never been somebody to get, awards or, major accomplishments- in the normal sense of an accomplishment, you know? Right. And so to get his black belt I think was really a big deal for him. So I made sure his parents were there, 'cause they've never got- gotten to see him like that. I wanted to be there. But I told him, I said, "If you forget to thank me in your speech, I am divorcing you." I am your number one fan. I have supported you since day one." And he almost forgot, 'cause he was trying not to cry, and he was like- he was really surprised about his family being there and his best friends- Oh being there and- That's beautiful. Yeah, so just for support. "Just don't forget me." You forget me and we're gonna have problems. Dude. Do you wash his gis? Hell no. Oh, my God. I didn't think you did. They smell terrible. There's... And it's not him. He's not a smelly dude. That's the thing. Right? But I make sure that his gis smell good. Even if I'm not the one washing it, I'm like, "No, you need to put the disinfectant in there. You need scent beads." Like, I don't ever want him to be the smelly dude on the, on the mats. Like, ugh. Yeah, that's gross. Some, some of these people, oh. You know what I always, scold my, team if somebody comes on with a stinky mat, I'll call 'em out. I'll let 'em know. And yeah, and I tell 'em white vinegar. Any... Here's my thing. If you don't have a washer and dryer, like you live in an apartment and you have to do it, I get it, but the second you get home, put that thing in the bathtub. Or you, what you can do is hang it so it'll dry, and then you can take it to the laundromat. Yes, and don't- Right? Don't leave it in your car don't leave it in your car. Don't re-wear it just because you dried it out. Like, you have to have a rotation of gis. Yeah. You have to smell good. It's just- it's a respect thing, 100%. And I don't want anyone coming home with ringworm. Right. Like, during COVID, I was so stressed. What happened? 'Cause, you know, people were training still. Yeah. There was still training- Yeah going on in their- I trained in their bubbles. They did. People did. And I said, "Look, I'm not gonna stop you," because I knew it was kind of making him feel depressed not being able to train. And so I said, "I'm not gonna stop you, but you bring home COVID and I'm gonna be pissed." Pissed. and who brought home COVID? Both of us did from the hospital when he got his knee surgery. Oh, no. I was so pissed off. I was like, "Oh, we didn't even get it from jiu jitsu. We got it from freaking- the hospital." So it, it is what it is. I just... Yeah, don't be the smelly person, please. I purposely, any time we've lived anywhere, I'm like, "They have to have a washer and dryer," 'cause he puts it in the second he gets home. Yeah, so do I. And I know it wears down the gis, and I know it's not probably good for the gi. Nuh-uh. It is. I don't care. It's good. I I will buy him a brand-new gi. My work gives me money every year to put towards fitness stuff. I just bought him a gi with it the other day. That's cool. I'm like, "Yep, you need a gi." "Here you go. Pick one out." So supportive. Have to be. Yeah. Just have to be. anything else about jiu jitsu? I encourage people to train. I talk about it constantly with parents and people that are interested whenever I kinda mention it. And I always get the, "Well, why don't you train? Well, you should train," and I'm like- I had a rough life. I definitely have some traumas that prevent me from wanting to have a 300-pound man on top of me- choking me out. or even a smaller female. I just, I can't be put in the position to have somebody's body weight on me like that- Yes in that setting. Yeah. And even though I, I'm well aware that they're not trying to harm me, I'm not in a harmed situation- I still can't do it. Like- Yeah, some things just trigger you. Yeah. A- and I would rather... You need people to support you from the sideline. Mm-hmm. And I don't mind being that person. Yeah. Let me be the photographer. Let me be the... I try not to coach. if I'm at a tournament, I do not speak. You won't hear me- yelling things, because I don't know jiu jitsu. I know what I see and what everybody tells me. I know probably more than most. I've heard wives, say, by watching my husband, I think I'm a black belt in jiu jitsu." I'm not. 100%, I am not. I know you're not. But I wanna make sure that he can hear the people that matter, the coaches- Oh, yeah the people that's going on. So I try to stay quiet. I think the only time I've ever yelled is when, one of his coaches isn't loud enough, and I'm, like, screaming whatever the coach is saying. But otherwise, nope. You're- Keep my mouth shut. I don't know if he can get out of that spot he's in right now. Yeah. So let me just... I'm just here to support. I'm here. I'm right there. I'm ready. Win. I know. I think a- as a woman, it's harder to make that decision to wanna do something like jiu jitsu. Mm-hmm. And I, I encourage every female to do it. Even for me, I can't... Other women, they just need the push. Yeah. So I'm happy to be like, "Yeah, do it." Try it. "Roll with my husband. I have no problem with that." Yeah. and I'm not concerned in any way- Yeah with anything like that. and he's super... He's not gentle in a disrespectful way. Right. And I appreciate that, because he's not trying to choke a woman out just because- Yeah he can, and he's not trying to go light just because it's a female- Yeah or somebody that needs to go light around. Yeah. But he's trying to let them work, let them do their thing- Yeah without making them feel like they're not doing the work, you know? Like- Exactly "Oh, he just went light on me 'cause I'm a girl." Like, no. No. Not at all. He's like, "No." He'll go to your level. Yeah. He just, he's not looking to crush you. Yeah. You know? They... I think we need more men like that, and I think more women would be interested, and also less creepy men on the mat- Yeah would probably make more women interested. Yeah. there's been a lot of interesting stories out there, right? In regards- Too many to, women being treated, um- I mean, this happens in every space, right? Right. I think it does. Every single space. At work. I think as a- Sports from my perspective, and I'll say it like that because obviously I don't own a gym, I don't know, it's still a business. You have to treat it like a business. It is not your dating site. Right. It's not a space... If you do end up finding somebody through jiu jitsu, it shouldn't be on the mats. It should be you've created a relationship outside of the gym. You just happened to meet at the gym. Exactly. But you worked that relationship outside the gym, you became friends, and it led to something down the road. Not you breathe, "Oh, a new girl just started. I wanna roll with her." Like, no. No girl wants to be groped on the mats. No girl's interested in you. Like- Yeah, they come for a reason. They come to do the sport, to try it out, not to find a match. A lot of times it's to protect themselves. It's the self-defense aspect, to be able to fight off a possible, attacker. And so going into a space where there's guys just drooling over them- Yeah because, "Ooh, it's a woman, ugh." Yeah. And I, again, won't name names, I won't call anybody out because I haven't been there to physically see it, but I've heard stories about even in some of the gyms that my husband's trained in where- My husband's been like, "No, you're not rolling with that girl. she's rolling with somebody else." Right. Like, he stepped in because he sees something happening. Yeah. And so he just wants to help prevent it- Yeah without it being awkward for the woman or for anybody else. Mm-hmm. But he shouldn't have to do that. Yeah. I think most women that start jiu jitsu, they've had some type of vulnerability or something happen to them physically or emotionally, and so I think sometimes they come over thinking that this will be a safe place for them. Yeah. And, you need to let them breathe- Yeah and do their thing and give them the space to do so. Yeah, 100%. I think there's positive spaces in a lot of gyms. Absolutely. I think there's some, and it's just finding the right one that fits for each person. and luckily my husband's been a part of, Solidarity's a great gym. Amazing people, and it, I've never felt that once, even from being an outsider not on the mats, I've never seen something like that happening or anything. And I'm from Triune Jiu Jitsu. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Triune is amazing. And I'm here, so they have the same mentality. We're there to help women empower women. And Coach Josh leads the team, respectively, and so with some great techniques. I don't see any problem there at our school either, you know? No, I, I think there's lots of great schools. It's just finding one that fits your schedule sometimes. Mm-hmm. Fits your lifestyle and what you have going on. Yeah, your location. Yeah. and finding the right teacher too, 'cause sometimes it's not even that they're bad teachers in the school, but they're just not your style. So it's finding somebody that you can relate to, that you feel connected to- that you can learn from. So if you find the right people- Do it. Exactly. Sign up. Don't be afraid. Take a free class, you know? And I talk to people, because I hang out at the gyms a lot, people will walk by and be like, "Oh, what's going on?" And I end up talking to people about it. Yeah. "Oh, yeah. Check it out. Let me connect you. Hold on." Yeah. that's why you need the people off the mats as well. You need people that are advocating for new people coming in- Yeah and being that person, being the sign-up person at these events, checking everybody in. The welcome wagon, so to speak, I'm happy to support Koffee Krew, to support the jiu jitsu community in the Bay Area as a whole., Hopefully I'll be down in Texas this year for the Koffee Krew trip. Yes. we're working on figuring out- When is it, July? Yeah, I think it's July. The weekend of the 18th. Okay. July 18th, I didn't go last year, but I went year before that. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. So I think I'll be going this year. we'll have some jiu jitsu girls' nights and- Yeah. go shopping, you know? Yeah. That sounds good. do the non-jiu jitsu stuff as well. Yeah. The food's great there. Yes. I've only been to Austin a couple of times, mostly for work, honestly, but the last time I went, my work, they put in the work with food. They were like, "Yeah, we're gonna go here, we're gonna go here," and everything was amazing, Yeah. I'm down. It's a great city. I'm down to share food and knowledge and- Yeah say hey to everybody. Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, thank you for coming and visiting me and talking to me. Of course. Anytime. Yeah. We'll have to do a chisme session, some more wives chisme sessions. Yeah, absolutely. What we'll do is we'll get, like, three or four wives together and let them, let it rip. Rant or... Yep. Talk, tell the stories. we'll tell the real stories. Maybe we'll name some names on those ones Yeah. We'll do it. Okay. Thanks. Talk to you soon. Thank you. Thanks. Bye.