#10 Alberto Daruma Dojo

Transcript

0:00

I want to thank you for coming on the podcast, Alberto. Today I have a special guest, someone I met during one of those times when we were traveling to different gyms. I met Alberto through my professor Josh A group of us had gone over to the UFC gym in Sunnyvale one night to get some grappling rounds in. And as usual I also brought my camera to take some photos. Since then, Alberto and I have stayed connected and I've had the privilege of watching his jiu jitsu journey unfold Today we'll get to hear more about his story, his experiences, and the impact Jiu Jitsu has had on his life. Tell us about Where you were born? Your upbringing? Let's start there. Okay. I think it's interesting living in the Bay Area and the Silicon Valley because there aren't too many, I feel like there aren't as many people that were born and raised here. You get a lot of people that were, born in other places, other countries, other parts of the United States. And then they were, located here later in their life for University or for job. But I was, born and raised in Antioch, California. And, I grew up in Oakley until I was five. years old. Then we moved to Antioch and I stayed there. High school there. And my family eventually moved to Brentwood, which is like the next town over. I'm a local. Bay Area, born and raised Nice. What'd you do as a kid growing up? So at our first house, I was thinking about this earlier one of the first memories I had was like riding bikes in the front yard, in the backyard. And then my father playing basketball, in the front yard, you have one of the hoops on top of the garage, So family members would come over, they'd play basketball. I guess that was probably like one of my first introductions to sports. At a young age was watching him play. They would play horse. Or they would play two on two or something and I would ride my bike and watch them shoot hoops. They have their, music blasting Madonna and stuff, real 80s. Yeah. I remember those days. Yeah. When I was a kid, I grew up playing baseball. I started playing baseball at five and that was a huge part of my life was playing baseball. I played baseball from five years old all the way to college. What positions did you play? When I first started I was like a shortstop. That's when I was like from five to 10. I think when you're a kid in like peanut league or T-ball, the person who is usually the best player plays shortstop. And then eventually I was on a team when I was 10 or maybe eight, and then they like, Hey, we need a catcher. And I was like, all right, I'll try. And then since then I was a catcher. So I was catcher from 10 all the way until 17 or 18 when I stopped playing. I was terrible at all other positions besides catcher. Yeah, that was horrible. especially once I started playing catcher long enough, I would just either get really bored or every once in a while, like in a game, I'd ask my coach, Hey man, can I play like third base or second base or something different? And then I'd always make an error or I'd play outfield and the ball would go over my head. I'd be a pitcher for a game and they hit a home run on me. So I was only good at catcher. That's a real important position. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It was really interactive and you're always in the game and, kept my mind busy, right? Absolutely Can you give me a little bit of background on your parents? Yeah. So my parents, Jesse and Mel Juarez. They raised me. They've been, together all their lives. They were like, my mom was born and raised in Portugal. She moved here, I believe, when she was around 10. Give or take a year or two. And my dad, he was born in Utah. But his, dad was from Guanajuato. He ended up moving out to Oakley and then my mom moved to Oakley from Portugal and they were like in middle school together. I think that's where they met and they started dating in middle school and they were together the whole time So they were like high school sweethearts that, grew up together and they're still together to this day. Yeah. So what did your dad do for a living? He was a mechanic. Yeah, he works on cars. He's really, really good. Like, with his hands. And he's extremely skilled. He was a mechanic up until about when I was maybe like 8 or 10. And at his job they had a, he was working in Concord. I remember going to visit his, dealership on a regular basis. We'd go and just like pop in and say hello. And, I remember they got new ownership, and they did a lot of layoffs, so they laid him off. And I think at that point my dad really got into the union. And, Organizing like workers organizing to get fair benefits and fair treatment. And then he ended up joining a machinist union who mainly represents mechanics in the area. I think he felt like that was unfair. How, a new owner came in and they could just get rid of all the people they wanted and bring new people in. And then he still does that to this day. He works for a machinist union for the last, if I had to guess 30, Years, at least. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's awesome. And how about your mom? My mom, when I was born, she stayed at home. She took care of me. Before that, I think she had like various jobs, working in hotels, working in restaurants. I think she worked at a bank. Various jobs. But, ever since I was born and as she was raising me, she never had a job. She just took care of us. How many siblings did you have in the household So in that household, I was the oldest. When I was five, my brother was born. His name is Jesse Michael. Fun fact is that, I played a part in helping name him. My parents asked me like, Oh, what do you want to name your brother? And I said, Michael, cause I was a huge Michael Jackson fan. And they're like, okay. And then my dad's name is Jesse. So they were going to name him Michael Jesse, like hyphenated. But she said that like when she was supposed to name the baby, she was, like not there from different like medications she was taking after, after the pregnancy. And so she named him Jesse Michael. So it was like backwards when they had to sign the papers. And then my sister, Jessica, she's seven or eight years younger than I am. Yeah. So we grew up together. There was kind of an age gap, between me and my brother and my sister, but when I was growing up and playing in like the front yard with my friends, my little brother would join us sometimes to play like football or basketball. Me and him are really close today. My sister are pretty close, but growing up, I was doing my thing for the most part. So how did growing up in a big family with siblings and cousins impact your personality? So like I, I grew up with my brother and my sister, right? They are like biologically my cousins because my mom and my dad who raised me, they are biologically my aunt and uncle. But I didn't know this growing up. I didn't know this until I was about like, I think I was like 12 when I found out. And so I had multiple cousins that I would spend time with. I didn't know at the time, but they were my, Half brothers and sisters. So I had five half brothers and sisters that I called my cousins. Because they were my cousins the way that everything was structured. And we would go spend time with them all the time. I didn't really know any better as far as like how it shaped me because it just was the way it was. I think I had a good childhood in the most, I was loved. I had a family. I had a mom and a dad, that raised me. I'm very grateful. I think it's complicated, especially as a kid. But I'm also very grateful that I was adopted by my aunt and uncle. My biological mom, besides me, she had five other kids. I have an older sister. and that was with a different, father. So she had, multiple baby daddies. And then I had an older brother, another different father. And then I was the third in line and then that was another father. I actually, when I was growing up, I was like really close to my older brother. That was two years older than me. We're actually all two years apart. My oldest sister, she's four years older than me. My older brother is two years older. And then I have. Twin brother and sister that are two years younger, and another sister who's four years younger. So we have two years back to back, so she was busy. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, so I know that, she raised them as a single mom for the most part. When the three younger ones were born, it was the same father who she was with for a long time, never got married. I think my opinion is the first, my, my oldest sister, her father, and I think she was either married with him or they, yeah, she was married to her father, but he committed suicide. And I think after that. Maybe the commitment thing was, difficult for her. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so she never really committed afterwards as far as like marriage. She never got married again. And then the last father of the three youngest brother and sisters, they stayed together for a long time, I think it was, when I was adopted, I think she just had a hard time. In fact, like I remember stories that I learned later, like she was going to have an abortion, but when they came in, I guess my, my mom that raised me, she went with her to get the abortion. And I don't know if it's true or not, but like they, heard that like before you're given an abortion, you listen to the heartbeat and that's one of the, last signs like, Hey, this is a baby living in you. Do you want to make this decision? And then her. And my mom that raised me were like, no, we're not gonna do this. I'll raise her. I'll raise him. And that's what the sister said. yes'Cause she was trying to have kids for a long time with my dad. But they couldn't have a kid. For the, for whatever reason they, they couldn't have one. And they thought they would never have one. So they, I was pretty much adopted at birth. Wow. You're a blessing. Yeah. To her Yeah. I was for, to both of them. That's what she tells me all the time. Like you're my blessing. Without you, I would have been in different places. So that's awesome. That's beautiful. When you first realized that, you were adopted, how old were you I think I was 12. And how did that impact you? So my parents, they thought that they were doing the right thing by hiding it from me because, they thought that I think it was their insecurities was, Hey, he's not going to love us as much if he finds out that we were not his real parents or he might want to go with his real mom or, You know, that was kind of my mom's thing. I think she was really worried about like me not loving her as much or like my father was, Oh, he's not going to be able to understand like, Oh, I can tell him, but he won't get it. I look back at that and I think it's a bunch of BS because I think like kids understand a lot more, and when something is held back so long that it's almost a secret or they're living like they're lying to you, right? You're living a lie. And so things are not genuine, but at the time as a kid, I didn't think like that because in fact, like the way, like my mom projected it towards me. In fact, I asked, am I adopted one day? Because she was giving me signs. Like she would ask questions. She was kind of like feeling it out, you know, like, Oh, I think a couple of times she even asked, if I wasn't your real mom, would you still love me as much? And then, so I asked her one day, or am I adopted? And she's yes, we're going to talk about it when we get home with your dad. I was like, okay. And I find out that my TT, who's my aunt, who's my biological mother, her name is Adelaide, but her, she goes by Lisa, but I call her TT, which is like aunt. And she's like, Oh, that's your real mother. And we're just worried that You weren't going to love us as much. And I'm like, no, of course I love you. Like you guys raised me. I love you. Maybe more like knowing that you took me in and, I see their family. and I think they had slightly harder time, raising all the kids because there's so many of them. And she was pretty much a single mother. And then we had a little more structure here. So I was like, okay, I wonder. I look back like, Oh, I wonder what my life would have been like if I was there, like what I've had the same opportunities, what I've been able to play baseball for all those years with my dad, like supporting me with different trips and equipment and you know, I just, I had a good life and so one of the first things I did was I called my older brother Salvador, the one that I grew up with thinking he was my cousin. I called him like, Hey, did you know we're, brothers? I didn't know that. And he's like, yeah, I just found out too. So they just found out also. Yeah, I don't know how long before but like for example, that's like an example though, because I think my eldest sister, she knew for a while. But like they just kept it from me. So it's kind of like I never thought of that at the time though. Oh, yeah, you knew. Oh cool. You know. So, at age, uh, 12 you got to meet your biological father for the first time. How did that go? My biological father, it was soon after I found out that I was adopted and, we were at a Mexican restaurant that we would go to often. I was with my mom and my grandma, my mom that raised me. And they started speaking in Portuguese, which like I grew up hearing Portuguese and hearing Spanish from both sides of my family, but I never spoke it. But I knew like when they're speaking Portuguese, there's a good chance. They don't want me to understand. So I'm like, what are you talking about? And then they're like, Hey, that's your, biological dad's over there. Do you want to meet him? I'm like, sure. But he didn't speak much English. He only spoke Spanish and I didn't really understand much Spanish at the time. So they brought him over and I'm like, Hey, and he's Hey, and it was like, slightly awkward, but. He was trying to be like really polite and, yeah, it was strange. It was awkward. Yeah. I didn't really, I was pretty neutral about it. It wasn't like I didn't have any feelings of I want to get to know you where I didn't really have any feelings of anger towards him. Correct. Yeah. I wasn't, I was like, Oh hi, nice to meet you. And then since that day, I think I met him two more times and there was, I was always at restaurants. I saw my McDonald's. We're in the thing we're going to drive through and he was a car in front of us and then we pulled over and then it was the same thing. And I think at the second two times we met, I saw him as I got older, they're all two or three years apart because I think he was moving from what I know. Like he was living in Oakley or Antioch in that area and then sometimes he would I moved back to Mexico because he's from born and raised in Mexico. I don't know what part and so he would be in town and sometimes not in town and we just happened to catch him like Oakley's a small town and it was always the same thing. I think the last two times I saw him, like he was speaking English better or I was speaking Spanish better because I was studying in high school. I think the last time I saw him, I was getting close, like maybe even 18 or something was probably the last time I saw him. I only met him three times. It was always like randomly. And the third time I saw him, I think because I was getting older, like I was either like on the cusp of being an adult or 17, 18 and I haven't had some interest because I found out that like he was a guitarist, in a band so that he was a musician, and I played guitar and so I thought, okay, maybe I got that from him. Like I got my musical. Absolutely. You did. Yeah. And so I was like, when I got older, I was like, Oh, I had some interest of actually maybe we could play guitar and You know each other. But it never took it anywhere. He gave me his number. He gave me his card. He worked for like a landscaping company, or he owned his own landscaping company. And he's Hey, if you ever I live in Oakley. Here's my, that card, give me a call anytime. And that was that the last time I met him, okay, never followed up. Yeah. Well, you had a great father that raised you. Yeah. There wasn't really a need for your biological father. Yeah. I didn't need a father figure, I think, there's always like a curiosity, Oh, like I wonder what kind of a guy he is or, but I didn't really care too much, Cause honestly, like I, I recently had a daughter and there was, I think it was father's day, like I was with her and I was like, I would never leave you. I can't believe anybody would just would leave their child. Yeah. At birth, or in his case, he's was a deadbeat dad. He just left me. You know what I mean? So I can't even imagine that. And so it was a moment that I had with my daughter. I was like, I'm never going to do that to you, or I'm always going to be here as long as I'm alive. Exactly. Yeah. You're not going to follow in his footsteps. No. Let's talk a little bit about, your mom, Your mother struggled with addiction and eventually got clean. How did witnessing that affect your childhood? I think it was tough. I didn't know any better. My mom raised me the best she could, given the circumstances. She was always there for me. I never was, like, I got food, I had a place, I had a nice house, I had all the things I needed, I was clothed. My father provided really well. My mom gave me love the best she could. It was tough. I think I learned a lot as far as being secretive. I think that's one of the things I learned growing up, hiding true feelings or lying or, because I would witness her, using drugs or getting drugs. And, it was always like, oh, let's keep this a secret from your dad. You can't tell your dad. I forgot what they call that, like when one parent uses you against the other parent. And so I was like her spy and like, okay. And I was her lookout. Yeah. I was on her side because she raised me I was with her all day. Right. And then as a child, like you want to take care of your mom, right? So you're like, okay, sure. If he asks, say this, she would have a whole game plan. So I think that was one of the things that I learned and which I carried with me as like a character defect as I got older as well was like hiding true feelings, lying, being secretive, like not showing, I guess being manipulative Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It happens. You know, you learn by the examples that you have set in front of you. Let's talk about your passion for sports. Baseball was a huge part of your life growing up. What made you fall in love with it? So baseball was, I think I started when I was five. and I think it was one of my ways of being noticed. And I think that kind of goes back into like my childhood living with a mother in an addiction was, I kind of went unnoticed, you know, cause she was busy with doing her thing. And, as much as she gave me love and she gave me what I needed. I think I was, missing like her emotionally and like her attention and her, and because she was elsewhere. There's many times where I needed her, but she wasn't there. She was not emotionally available. So I was, not necessarily although I was abandoned by my biological mom, my biological dad. So like, there's like abandonment things going on there as well. But I think I was neglected by her, mentally and emotionally, right? So when I got into baseball, this is me like looking back as an adult now. Not in the time. But I think what drew me to it was like, Oh wow, like I'm good. I'm athletic. And this is like a stage where I can shine. Like I learned quick. My dad, he took me, he like was so into it with me. He would take me to the baseball practice and he would even hire private coaches to help me get like the techniques correct. And from the second year I played, like I became good pretty fast, compared to the other kids. And I was like, Oh, like now I can, I have an avenue to be noticed. I kind of leaned into that role of wanting to be noticed and getting attention for doing something good, you know, like some kids. Kids want attention, especially if they're not getting it at home in some way or another. And so that was my way of getting attention was playing baseball, like being good at it, getting praise. And eventually it also went into school too, because I became really good at like school, getting good grades and being a good student. So that was, I think that's what drew me into it. And then. As I got good, I played, all the different, travel ball teams, all star teams, and it got pretty serious, once I was, like, 12 years old. That's like a pivotal part, I think, in my, adolescence, from, like, I think a lot happened when I was 12. I think I lost my virginity when I was 12. Wow, That was early. Yeah, so I think 12 years old for some reason was like a huge, maybe that was around the same time I found out that I was adopted and all this stuff. So by the time I was 12, I started playing baseball like really seriously. Travel teams and year round. It was like winter ball, summer league. That's where all my friends were at. My friends were baseball players and it was just, my identity at a young age. And I followed baseball. I watched, the MLB and any, like most kids, like I had a dream of playing professionally and eventually like in high school, like when I was in high school with baseball, I played with the varsity team like as a freshman. That's good. That's really good. They had this pitcher. I played freshman ball, but then after freshman ball, like during the winter leagues and stuff, they brought me to the varsity team to play certain tournaments and stuff because they had this pitcher who was throwing like 90 plus miles an hour. Man. He got drafted. And I think when I was a sophomore, he was a senior. And. They had no one to catch him, so they brought me up and I was able to catch him and it was like surreal like this, how fast the ball is. I've caught a few pitchers that threw 90 plus and that is cool. That is fast. That's quick. The ball just hisses. It's nuts. Yeah, it's pretty cool. How controlled was that pitcher? Would you always controlled? Okay, good. Yes, that makes it easier. Yeah, totally. Yeah, he would hit the target like he would always be within a few inches. So he was really good. Yeah. And I caught him as a freshman and sophomore. And so that was like a, really helped me focus and I became, even better just being with people like that, like around me that are better than me, or being with the older crowd, so like I was able to hang with them and, yeah. And then high school I thought oh, I was always told, get a scholarship or get good grades, go to a good college, get a good job, and you know, that's the life that people have planned for you. Huh. And who would tell you that? My father, mostly. Okay, good. I think my father, and of course, I think society as a whole. He like blatantly told me like, Hey, let's keep doing the baseball thing. You're good at that. Some colleges were watching me. Let's, let's keep doing the grades. You're getting straight A's. And let's, get a college scholarship. Which I think is unfair because I look like they put pressure on you. Yeah, they do. And then most kids don't ever get that scholarship, right? Right. It's very competitive. So did you get a scholarship when you reached college? No. No. Okay. No. So I had, I think I had one school that was willing to pay for a portion. So I think I did get one. Now that I can't remember the exact terms, but it wasn't a full ride. It was to Pomona State Okay. And, or University of Pomona, one of those. And it was like a D3 baseball team and they were recruiting me baseball. But, I wasn't interested in that school for whatever reason. I was interested in UC San Diego. Oh, nice. Yeah, that was like the school I really wanted to go to. I went down there. The baseball team was looking at me. They were D2. The university is really good. I got into the university, but D2 and D3 schools don't give athletic scholarships. So I didn't get any athletic scholarships from those schools, What led you to walk away from baseball and ultimately choose a different path? I think, eventually when you play, when you do something for so long at a serious level it becomes, you develop burnout. You do. And, you know, it was very serious for a long time. Like people, coaches, my father especially, like he, we would do I played baseball, play games, do practices, but then we'd practice at home and he'd be like, he's kind of a person that. You have to do it this way. If you don't do it this way, you're wrong, right? And so like I would, for example, I would be hitting the baseball, the balls off the tee. And then after one swing, he's no, you got to do it like this, right? Like this. And it's just come on, do let me just swing the bat. And then if I express opinion, he'd get upset. He had get angry. And there was times where we just, it's oftentimes like it was, we just couldn't see eye to eye. That became like, he's like putting a lot of pressure and being like real serious. I stuck it out because I love baseball. I had fun and, but like I wanted to go to UC San Diego and that didn't work out. My dad for years gave me like this, Hey, good school, good grades, good college. And then I got in and I was like, let's go. Then at the time he's Oh, I couldn't, I can't afford it. So go to a junior college instead. And so I was like really let down because I had this expectations for like last four years all through high school. And I achieved it. Exactly. I got the straight A's. I played baseball. I got to a school that I wanted to go. I was looking forward to it. And then it was like, I even went down for, like registration, I signed up for classes, I went for the orientation, I met the coaches and the baseball team. And then, even then, he was like, no, just go to the junior college. And in my mind, I told him, and I was like really upset. I said, like, what was all this, you know, you led me down this path for the last four plus years, and now all of a sudden. You take it in a way and he's you can go to junior college and then you can get a scholarship two years later. So I don't know. I think he just had these expectations of what, college scholarships are. And then he learned later, Oh no, like you can just, I could save a lot of money if you go to a junior college. So I went to the junior college and I was, I had this resentment for a long time. Did you play at junior college? I did. Okay. Yeah, I played baseball there and I started on the team and, if I wanted to, I could have, played junior college, got into a different university, maybe, who knows, what university I could have got into and played baseball and, who knows, I know with my skill, I could have at least played minor leagues, at least a hundred percent. Because I had a lot of friends that, that I grew up playing baseball with that made it to the minor leagues. And I'm like, Oh, well, like it's, I don't think at that point it's not that difficult to get to like a double a or whatever, triple a, I'm not sure which one's the highest double a or triple a or single a, but. You were at their level, you knew you were at their level. I was, and I'm looking back at it like I could have done that. I doubt I'm not sure, but I don't know, dunno if I'll ever make it like the pro But I could have played professionally. But at this point I was, had such a resentment towards, my father and towards, baseball. So I played on the team, I did really well in junior college, but then I had these coaches that they were just horrible, like they did a lot of things I didn't agree with and I think at that point I was so rebellious that I would just tell them straight up like you're doing all these things wrong, not necessarily the way they were coaching, but the things they were doing like behind the scenes, like for example, one of the main things was, they had us do all these like fundraisings for, Like the travel teams or yeah, they were the money was supposed to be for like trips that we did and we can and the money was raised and I think it was used In the right way. I don't think they like misused it, right but they promised these things to these businesses, which was like we're gonna create a catalog that your business is going to be in so when people come to our games, all the people that show up to the game, they get this brochure That has all the players in it, and it has your business in it. And so as marketing And this is, they paid for this And you give this, but they never gave that, they never delivered on that promise to these businesses. And every time I asked them, it was always an excuse, oh, the printer is not working. Or all this bs. I'm like, I have, I sold. I don't know, like three different sponsorships to like family, friends or whatever, or friends. And now I'm like the one that looks like I'm the BSer. And so every day I would be mad at them. Come on, like you'd call them out. I call them out. And they, and then because of that, eventually they would start treating me differently. I was, I just came with a bad attitude. I came to practice every day with a bad attitude about like, halfway through the season, they end up benching me because my attitude, they brought another catcher in, and even though he wasn't as good as me, he wasn't, rebellious like I was. And then eventually, they kicked me off the team. Oh, wow. Yeah, towards the end of the season, they kicked me off the team, and I'm like, fine. Let's go. You made too much noise for them. Yeah, I was a cancer. all this stuff built up. Right. For years, where, my father and then these terrible coaches and then baseball and hopes and dreams crushed and once I got kicked off, like my dad ended up talking to the coaches like I was unaware, but he's Hey, they want you back next year. They want to get past this and they're willing to reinvite you. And I went to a meeting with the, Head coach and like he kicked me off the team, but he had one of his assistant coaches do it. And I was like, you're such a pussy, you couldn't even, you can't even face me and say it, you know what I mean? So he had this assistant coach do it and then they had all my catcher gear was a university gear. So they're like, we need all your gear back. So I just like, literally after the game, I took all my gear, threw it on my coach's face and it's like, all right, I'm out. Like I'm deuce. But then when I came back for the meeting, he's Hey, you're always welcome back. And we, I don't know, we talked it out with me, him, my dad. And I was like, you know what, I'm actually doing jiu jitsu now. This is way more fun. I'm like, and I'm going to, I'm going to be an MMA fighter. And so he's like, all right, if that's, if that's what you want to do, I'm happy for you, but just know that you can always come back to the team. I think my dad had to fight hard for that because of the way it ended. But. I think you stood up for a good cause. I think so too. Yeah. I think my attitude was poor and I did some things maybe the wrong way. Yeah. But, I think I was like, one of the things I can't stand is like injustice or things being unfair. Same here. So I felt like I, yeah, I was making noise, but. Yeah. All right. Okay. So now that you talked about jiu jitsu, let's get into your jiu jitsu journey. Okay. Okay. How did you first get introduced to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu? In high school I used to get in, I was into like weightlifting and bodybuilding, and I did that while I was playing baseball through high school. I would lift weights often, and I was going to a gym, this must have been, I think this was. Senior year of high school, the summer between senior year of high school and college. What year was it? 2003. Okay. So this is where I got introduced to jiu jitsu in 2003. And I was working out at this gym, I don't know what it's called now, if it's still in there, it's called Extreme Fitness in Antioch. I was lifting weights with a buddy of mine and Nick Diaz. We all, most of us know the famous UFC fighter, right? He was going around the weight room and was like, targeting certain people, probably like young people. I'm like, Hey, like we're doing Jiu Jitsu back here. Come on, let's go. I remember a hundred percent. I remember him talking like, Oh, you want a six pack abs? Come on, do Jiu Jitsu. Like it's a good workout. Come try it out. So there was a back room. And it had like mats, and they're like these old, dirty gym mats, right? I'm like, alright, I'll give it a try. So me and my buddy went back there, and then we did a class, and, I remember, one of the first techniques I learned was like a guard pass, a butterfly guard pass. And I still remember it to this day. I still use it, right? So yeah, he brought us back there and I got into it. He was like, he was, this is before he was UFC fighter. He was a purple belt in Jiu Jitsu and he was with Caesar Gracie, but like somehow they had a partnership with this gym and he was there coaching. And I don't remember how many nights a week it was, but it was all no gi stuff. And so he was fighting like king of the cage. And I remember the first day I trained or like the second or third day. There was like a clip out of his latest fight. I think it was the first day and it was him kimuraing someone like breaking their arm in the match. And yeah, I was like, whoa, this is nuts. What is this? Okay. And then I started learning and I started doing it. And what drew me to it was the physical exercise. Cause I was like, I loved working out and I love being in shape. And I was like, wow, like this is a crazy exercise. Like all this testosterone and just trying to beat each other up. And I thought I was like badass, like from the get go. So you weren't nervous or you didn't get, you didn't mind being beat up or on the bottom. You just like, yeah, No, I was into it. I was just, I was more, it wasn't like self defense aspect of it to me. It was more of the sport. I was just really into just being aggressive or I was into the physicality of it and those other guys were all a bunch of white belts And we're just like grinding it out on each other and I'm getting my ass beat. We're beating each other's butts and this is all like muscle barely any technique and. Eventually he was training so much Nick that he stopped teaching there cause he was, eventually getting into the UFC. I don't know how many years after it took, right? Maybe three or four years after he got UFC. But he was his path. And then they would fill in other coaches. Like Vinny Magalhaes. Yeah, I forgot how, I don't know how to pronounce his last name. But he was teaching there for a while. Like he's a very famous ADCC champion. He got flown down here and he was teaching there for a few days. And then they brought this brown belt. I forgot his name, but he did half guard stuff. And so he really introduced his half guard. And I was like, Oh, this is cool. He would call me, Alberto the great Yeah, he was a brown boy I think from Marco Nascimento, Yeah, and so they just started filling in new people, right and then eventually Nick Diaz was like hey, like I he was still drop in and once on teach classes both multiple people teaching and he's like I'm teaching we're training over there at Cesar Gracie. Like come on, like you should be an MMA fighter So he was like getting me in my head like do MMA. right. because that's what he was into and I was like, okay, let's do this. So I'd go there and I would do the boxing and I would do jiu jitsu and then him and a lot of the other guys, Jake Shields and other people, they would be all doing MMA. And I'm like, oh cool. Like I'm going to go do that until one day I got my ass kicked by a orange belt kid and I was like, my mind was blown because it was always just us. Big I was like pretty much the same weight. I am now. I haven't really changed much in weight, but I was stronger And it was just like strong guys like just beating each other up and then all of a sudden this little kid like 14 years old or 13 years old just wrapped me up and tapped me like four times in a match and I was blown away. So I saw something that I never saw before in jiu jitsu opposed just to MMA being physical and the fighting thing. And I was like, wow, I want to learn this. Yeah. The kid had technique. He had technique. He kicked my butt. Like I can't out muscle this guy. He was like 50 pounds less than I am. Wow. So that, I think a lot of people have that kind of story. And ever since then, when that moment happened. I was like, I just want to do jiu jitsu, forget MMA, like this is amazing. What, what's going on? I didn't see this before. And so I had a friend that he was teaching me boxing and he's Hey, if you want to do MMA, you stick with Nick Diaz. But if you want to learn jiu jitsu, you should go train with Ricardo Barros here at Ralph Gracie Antioch. It's like, okay. So I went to, I had a girlfriend at the time and like we were in downtown Antioch and let me go check this place out. So I go in there. And I remember it was during the kids class, like I, I just, I won't forget. And it was Kurt Osiander. he was covering the class for Ricardo. For some reason, I don't know why. And then I just show up and there was a kids class going on and he's playing with the kids and they're all like a bunch of kids like running around being nuts. And Kurt's yeah, oh, I'm here covering for Ricardo, so you gotta come back tomorrow night, try a class. And I'm like, alright. And then I had a friend that actually was training there. And then we went together. And I just was like, Once again, I was like so into it for because of the physical activity portion of it like we would do an hour of what they would call a warm up. 45 minutes minimum to an hour and it was just like physical conditioning. You know running around, calisthenics, partner drills we would firemen carry each other around the mat and do squats with each other we do pummeling drills and bear walks and crab walks and, you name it. Like we did crazy stuff for 45 minutes, an hour. I remember he would play a CD of like heavy metal and then, yeah, I get us going. And then I think the CD was like 45 minutes to an hour and sometimes it would play the whole album and he started over again. Nice. Yeah. and then after that we would do 30 minutes of technique, like static drilling. Oh, here's a, it was very fundamental stuff. Here's an arm bar from the guard, or here's a guard pass. We do that for like maybe 30 minutes and then we roll for an hour. So we were really, their philosophy at that time was like, no, one's going to be a better shape than us. Like we're going to be in the best shape. And when you're in a good shape, you have that going for you. If you have a weak tool, it doesn't matter like how sharp your technique is. If you get gassed out. You're gonna get your ass kicked. You are. Yeah, so true. And so I was like I was into it and then I stuck with it like I remember when I wanted to sign up they had two days a week three days a week or unlimited. And for some reason the lady who was Ricardo's, her name is Katie. She was his girlfriend at the time ended up they got married eventually but she was helping him with the memberships and she's look I know you're going to stick with it. And Ricardo told me like, Oh, you can pay for the two day a week, pass. And that was like 120 a month, but you have to come every day. Oh. And I'm like, all right, bet. I didn't say that cause I didn't know what that meant that back then, but it's like that for sure. I'll be here. And then they were like, yeah, we know. I don't know. They saw something like, yeah, you'll, you're going to stick with it. I could tell. Yeah. okay. and then I just, I stuck with it. Awesome. From white belt to black belt. When I was doing jiu jitsu, I, like we mentioned earlier, I started jiu jitsu probably that summer between high school and college. And then, during college, I was doing the MMA thing with the Nick Diaz team. And that was when I quit baseball. I wasn't yet. I don't think I was with my coach Ricardo yet at the time. I still had the aspiration to be an MMA fighter, but then I gave up baseball and I was still in school, I was doing jiu jitsu and I was working out. And I think, the biggest challenge was like, was the path that I chose because many people didn't agree with it. It went against the get good grades, go to college, get a good job and fit into society in that. Traditional sense, right? And that's where I was going. Cause I was like, Hey, okay, That's, but we already talked about how I was going to go to UC San Diego. I wanted to be a doctor. I was like, Oh, I want to do something prestigious because I have the ability. I have the mental capacity to do whatever I want. Why not do something that, cause I wanted to stand out. I want, Hey, I want to be a doctor, Alberto Juarez, because I want attention and show you that I can, and when the UC San Diego thing didn't work out, my dream of that started to die. I went to junior college for a couple of years and I got into UC Davis and it was a pivotal point where I was like, I'm not even going to go. They gave me the acceptance letter. It was the day that I was supposed to turn in the agreement to go and I just didn't turn it in. I was like, Nope, I'm going to do this jiu Jitsu thing. I was a blue belt at the time. I was like, no, this jiu jitsu thing is way better. I'm just gonna do that. I'm gonna drop school. Mm-hmm Just to jiu jitsu and just live life. I ended up moving to San Diego for six months and just doing some crazy stuff. And, so I think like getting like pushback from society, like my dad mostly. this is not a real job. Like you have no future in this is a hobby. And I'm like, whatever. Like you, you can't tell him what to do now. Like after that. And then he would try to like, push back so hard, okay. If you're not going to do this, I'm going to do it. So he was trying to control me, and so that was a hard part was like, Oh, I see my professor Ricardo and he makes a living teaching jiu jitsu. Like why can't I do that? Okay. So maybe I should do that. This is pretty fun. Like I like jiu jitsu and so I'm, you know, like my dad, he's like, okay, so now you don't have to pay rent and you're going to have to, you have to contribute now to this family because if you're not going to school, I'm not supporting you. And I was like, okay. So I'm working at restaurants on the weekends, and I'm doing jiu jitsu six days a week, morning and night, and, So that was tough, because I chose my own path, and I didn't really have any. Like nowadays you tell people that they're like, yeah, go be a professional Jiu Jitsu guy. Like you can go do, you can sell DVDs and you can own a gym or you can, there's so many, there's actually a lot of gyms that will support you. Locally, like the Caio Terra or, internationally, like when you go to, Japan, they have, the Carpe Diem. And they're like supporting like purple belts just to teach classes. Like even like in my school. I pay all the teachers, even the blue belts, Hey, like I pay you to teach class. Like I was teaching kids as a blue belt, but like I never got paid. I don't think I started getting paid to late in brown belt. It was just like a volunteer. It was tough cause I had a goal, but nobody believed in it. So that was the hardest part. Okay. Yeah. You mentioned that you had some personal struggles, and challenges. that your addiction struggles began in your twenties around the same time you left baseball. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Sure, So, when I was like growing up, I think I, used like alcohol or weed, like a lot of kids growing up in high school. I think I started when I was in high school. I think I started drinking when I was in middle school. And then I had a lot of friends that would smoke weed in middle school and I was like. That sounds about right. I think most of us started, experimenting during that time. Yeah, and I, because of my mom's addiction, I never wanted to use drugs. I was like, I see what drugs do. It was terrible. I don't want to do this. I'm very focused on my goal at such a young age, which was, get a good job, focus on my schools, do baseball. I drank in high middle school with friends, like socially, and then, a lot of friends tried to get me to smoke weed, and I didn't. Eventually I tried weed in high school. Once I graduated high school and I went to college, I think around the same time, I started jiu jitsu. I was working in restaurants, and a lot of people were using, other drugs, like cocaine, or other things And they always try to get me to do it. I'm like, no, no way. but I think it was that point where I was rebellious against my father because of him, like not fulfilling his end of the bargain. And there's this saying I'm going to get back at you by hurting myself and it makes no sense, right? But that's that's the mindset that I think I has you know what, screw it. Let's try cocaine or let's do these other things, And so I started experimenting with different drugs and, I took this party path, it was really, you know, socially accepted, and it was like good times, fun. This is around the same time when I was 20, that was when I decided not to go to UC Davis anymore. I was a blue ball at this time in, Jiu Jitsu and I went to San Diego and I just, that was like, Hey, I'm going to go to San Diego, let's go do something different. So I transferred just to the restaurant down there. I was working and this is when I started, actually started struggling with addiction. I had a hard time like, my first time living on my own, I was 20, I was, at San Diego on the, beach all the time. I was doing jiu jitsu a little bit at various places, but mostly just enjoying myself I struggled to pay rent. Every month was like, oh shoot, I better pick up like extra shifts so I can pay rent. And I think I never cooked like I always ate out, like I just had no idea. I was trying to figure it out. And, eventually, my roommate moved away. And then I couldn't afford the extra rent. I think we had a lease for six month lease and I left one month early or something. And I was like, all right, bye. We had another roommate where her father was leasing it and we were all three of us were like the tenants and I just left and I came back and then that's when I got into jiu jitsu seriously with my coach. Like I started, that's when I came back as a blue belt. Ricardo, my coach, he opened up his own gym, he branched off from Ralph Gracie, and I went with him and I was teaching the kids classes and from Blue Belt all the way until Black Belt. There was times, I was working in restaurants, like I said, and there was times where, my addiction got in the way, I couldn't. I couldn't show up to class or I would always call him with an excuse, hide, lie, manipulate, but eventually like you can't hide anymore. You can't lie anymore. So like he, as my coach, like he, he had a hard time knowing how to deal with it. Like, how do I, he was trying to show me like tough love, but also be embracing. And I think like he understood, he doesn't understand as an addict, but his coach. Rilion Gracie. He that was his coach, right? And he was an addict. Okay, and he Struggled with addiction and I think my coach saw his you know Craziness and saw my craziness. I'm not nowhere near as crazy as that guy. But from what I hear I've never met the guy personally but So I think he struggled with learning how to like he tried to give me tough love like alright, like if you're not if you're gonna be using and not showing up, you're suspended, you can't train for a month or whatever, or I'm gonna take away a stripe. Like, when I was a brown, when I was a brown belt, there was another time, I got, I would struggle, then I would get clean, but I would, then I'd do it again, it was like up and down, for years, and then eventually, as I came up in the belts, purple, brown. I took on more responsibilities. I was the head coach of the kids program at Purple Brown Belt. I started coaching the fundamentals programs and then I, and then I became a black belt for my coach and, I just, I was pretty much running the operations of the gym. And I was teaching the majority of the classes, like I was the, primary coach. And then eventually, I just came in all messed up one day. And. I think over time people started to see it, like members started to notice, parents of the kids started to notice, and he's hey man, I have to let you go, and you can't coach anymore, and it was tough, and like I felt remorse, and I wanted to apologize to the families, but he let me come back as training, so I was still there training. And it was at this point, I want to do something different. Like I finally got the black belt. I know this is not like the end goal, but that was a huge accomplishment. It was. And so what can I do now? Like I dropped out of school, so why not go back to school? And so, like I was telling my professor that, and he was like, Oh, sure. I think, you're like, you are, why do you need a degree? Like he was no, he felt like anti school, you don't need a degree, you're a black belt, you can do, whatever. And I'm like, no, I think I just need it for me. I want to go back to school. And I was training there still, but ever since he let me go as an instructor because of my addiction, it wasn't the same. it was really awkward. I was still training there, but eventually I said, Hey man, it's not really working out. I'm gonna not be training here. I'm gonna go back to school. And, we left it at that. Yeah, and I don't think we either of us at that time really said what we really wanted to say We held back and we're like, okay cool. Like good luck. All right, good luck. Yeah, and then I left to San Jose State because I wanted to learn judo and and all this time like I'm my addiction is like up and down like it would get in the way I get clean for a little bit and then I have it under control until it wasn't in control, right? And then I went to San Jose State and same kind of story I'm working at restaurants and I chose that University because it's local and because of the judo program like hey like I'm gonna definitely just been new. Yeah, let's be a white belt all over again. So let's go San Jose State I started training judo there with David Williams, and I stayed with him the whole time. I think by the time I graduated which was like Three years at San Jose State, I was a brown belt, in judo. After I graduated, this was like around the time where I started to get clean. Okay, so that was one of my questions. At what point did you realize your addiction was becoming a problem and what did you do to try to fix it? Yeah, It obviously was a problem because it would get in the way of my responsibilities. Like I just couldn't show up and do the things I wanted to do. Then it was really hurting my relationship with Keiko, my wife, we, got married in 2017, I think one year after I graduated. One or two years after I graduated college, and I just saw like how it was hurting her. One day when, you know, I hit multiple bottoms and I just saw, how much it was hurting her. And then, so I was like, you know what, like I'm going to get clean for her because this is not fair. My first goal was like, I want to, I can't see her like this, this is terrible. I can't believe what I still have a lot of shame and guilt for what I've done and put, I put her through. Throughout the years when I was trying to get clean, I went to narcotics anonymous because that's what my mom did and that's how she got clean, right? Her version of clean. I know of this. way to help you get clean. And I would go and I'd get clean for a little bit and then I stopped going, and then I would get, start using it again. And then eventually, I would just use it as a means to stop for a little while, get my life back on track. And then months later or a year later, I'm back where I started again. If not worse. I stopped using one time for a year. and then I was like, oh, I did a year. That's pretty good. I guess I could start drinking again, and then once you start drinking, then one thing leads to another, and then you're back in the hole. I finally went back to Narconics Anonymous, and, I finally, did the steps, and did the, all the things that they suggest, and, and I've been part of that organization, but now I've been clean for almost, In May, if, as long as I keep this path in May, it'll be six years. That's amazing. Good job. Thank you. Awesome. Good. Okay. So then let's go to, let's see. Can I talk about how I got my black belt in judo? Yeah, absolutely. After I graduated, I was like, Oh, I'm a brown belt in judo. So I want to get a black belt. So I would go back to San Jose State to train with my coach. And I think it took me like an extra, like two years and I was training, three days a week and we would train for like four hours. I would do like conditioning for an hour. I would do like technique for two hours, and then I would do one hour of like hard sparring. Wow. for two or three days a week. I actually got rewarded my, shodan or black belt. in Judo during the pandemic. yeah. 20 2020. Then after I got promoted to black belt, I was like, all right. I don't need to do judo much anymore now. I was training so hard, but judo is rough. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh, it's so different than jiu jitsu, It's tough on the body. Yeah, taking falls. I'm like, 30, I'm not like a 14 year old that they could take falls and pop back up. We have a judo at our dojo, and these kids are like, 8, 10, 12. And they're just like, falling and getting up and falling and getting up. I'm like, man, you can ask Keiko, I would come home and I'd be like, I hate judo. I hate Judo, it freaking hurts, I don't want to, oh my gosh, but I was determined, I have a goal, I'm going to do it, let's get this black belt, and after that, I wanted to develop my game beyond Jiu Jitsu. I need a stand up part, let's do some Judo, this is going to help me as a martial artist, and it has, because now I have that in my pocket. If I need to stand and I have a much better balance, I understand the gripping patterns. I can defend myself on my feet. I have some good takedowns, yeah. And it helps with the pace too. Cause of the judo pace is like much more intense in general for Jiu Jitsu. Absolutely. What has been the biggest lesson you've learned from your recovery? I think everything that I owe right now in my life is because I am clean and stopped using drugs. Okay. Because, everything came after that. I got my black belt. In both, Judo and Jiu Jitsu, and I was still, struggling with addiction. I have a determination, I can do all these things, but It wasn't until, I got clean that I felt like I could actually tap into my true potential. I can actually find out who Alberto really is. In my opinion, because of, my emotional neglect, because of my abandonment issues, because of me seeing my mom and my addiction, because of control issues and those things led me down that way and it was my way of getting back at the world. That blocked me from being who I am and finding out who I am. And if I use I'm just going to go down that path again. And so I think the lesson that I learned was that, in order for us to figure out and to live like authentic life, like we need to be clear minded. We need to be present and we need to like know that every day is a blessing because if you don't do the right thing, like something can be taken away from you. Yeah. I agree with that. For others struggling with addiction, what advice would you give them? It's going to be okay. Okay. Yeah. Like it's going to be okay. I think when you get deep into a bad spot, like you just don't care if you live or die, you don't care about anything else. You're so wrapped up in negativity and you're selfish and you're being taken over by the addiction. And I think they need compassion. Okay. Yeah. So I think they need like a hug. They need compassion. They needed to be known like it's going to be okay. When you're ready, you need support because you can't do this by yourself. I don't think anybody can. If you're an addict, you cannot do it by yourself. You need support in one form or another. I found it with Narcotics Anonymous, and I know that's a strong path, for many people. And I suggest that. I've seen some big changes in you, your entrepreneurship, your new businesses, and I saw it ever since, um, UFC and just your drive, to make your situation better. Going after the things you love and wanted the kind of teacher you were. Yeah, it was really nice seeing you grow. Why don't you tell us about your business ventures and how it all started? Sure. Since blue belt, I was always teaching jiu jitsu part time. I taught, and then as I was going through college, I was, training a little bit of jiu jitsu. And when I graduated, I got a job, coaching youth sports. So I've always coached kids. And during that time, I was also teaching part time Jiu Jitsu at Smash Gyms. So Jiu Jitsu I've always been coaching part time. But after seeing my professor, seeing kind of the back end of owning a gym, I was discouraged. I was like, I don't know if this is for me. So let me go back to school. And I got the kinesiology sports management degree and business minor. And I got some like tools, like some understanding of the business side of it. And then after I graduated. I actually got an opportunity to own this youth sports company called National Academy of Athletics and I owned the territory of San Jose area, which included many cities, San Jose, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Gilroy, Morgan Hill, and even Watsonville for a while. And so I learned a lot in that, job. I was teaching part time jiu jitsu, training all the time, and then running this, organization. And I learned so much. And then eventually when I got the opportunity to be the head coach at UFC gym, I saw that as an opportunity to finally do jiu jitsu full time. It was a dream of mine. Like I want to just do jiu jitsu full time. And at that point I didn't care at what aspect. I was like, I don't know what it's going to be. I don't know if I'm going to own a gym. I don't know. I'm going to coach with somebody. I don't know if I'm going to own a jiu jitsu podcast. I'm like, whatever, wherever jiu jitsu takes me, I just want to do that. But I want to do it full time because I don't want to be half in anymore. Before I was at UFC gym, I was teaching Jiu Jitsu with smash gyms. I finally, I created my own. My own mark Daruma Dojo. It was a brand and I was teaching Daruma Dojo out of a gym in Redwood City. It's like a koksuwan in Redwood City a buddy of mine he owned the place Hafez and he invited me to teach jiu jitsu there. I can promote my brand and so I was teaching there three days a week I was teaching at smash gyms that they have three different I was teaching at three different locations like six days a week and then I was running this US sports company And I was just working hard, hustling and training and teaching. But I never got to do one thing fully because I'll spread everywhere. And then when this opportunity for the UFC gym came up and it was like right after the pandemic, because after the pandemic, the martial arts, the smash gyms, the other gym that was teaching Daruma dojo out, they all like. Closed. And so I was just doing jiu jitsu with friends in garages and I'm but the youth sports company they like pivoted. So I saw like that in order to be a successful in business you need be flexible. You need to be creative and you need to make just make choices and then when you make a choice. Go for it. And then be ready to make another choice because you might make a great choice. You might make a not great choice, but you gotta learn and adapt. Eventually after the pandemic, the UFC gym came and I was like, cool, like I am now able to do just a full time because they paid decent. I was able to teach a lot of classes. So I was like. Finally, I can stay here and do jiu jitsu and develop my little program and I sold my youth sports company. I sold the territory to another, coworker, another partner. I learned a lot from that too, because I should have made triple the profit. Cause I, took this organization, this territory and I built it like crazy. Like I blew it up. And then when I sold it for three times of what I bought it for. That's great. That's a good profit. It is. But I ended up breaking even because, the deal that I had, It kind of went south. The lady that bought it, she put a certain amount of money down and then she took it and ran it into the ground. Oh, no. But this is like one thing that I've learned over years is like how to make a deal, how to protect your investments. Yeah. Yeah. The more that like I was teaching at UFC gym for a little over a year and I started building a program and promoting my brand within the gym because like at that point it was like, wherever I go, Daruma Dojo goes, cause I am Daruma Dojo. We are Daruma Dojo. I was doing a good job there, so I asked them, Hey, I want more money. I, Proposed an amount and said, this is like what I'm worth. I'm worth more than this, but like I, in order for me to continue, this is what I'm expecting. And then they denied me. So I was like, all right, I think it's time for me to open up my own gym now then. One of my friends, Eric, like he put it in my head. He's like, all right, let's go. Like he was let's do it. I'll help you. So he was, I think that moment when they denied me and he said he'll help me. I was like, let's do it. Then we ended up opening up a Daruma Dojo 2022 in September. Right on. Because Keiko, my wife, she's from Japan and I visited there a few times even before we opened Duruma Dojo and before we got married, I visited and I learned like what the Duruma doll is and like what it represents. The Daruma doll is a, it's like a really, it's a good luck charm in Japan and it's huge in Japanese culture. Everyone knows about Daruma. It pretty much symbolizes perseverance, never giving up. They have the saying, fall down seven times, get up eight times. Nanakarobi yaoki. That's how they say it in Japanese. And, it really struck a nerve with me because, like I've been through my struggles, but I always had that desire. And drive even though like I've been knocked down, get back up and it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked down. And we learned that in Jiu Jitsu, right? Like man, you get tapped, but that's okay. And you slap bump, you go again. Yeah. There's been many people I've seen so many people in Jiu Jitsu where they come, they get their butt kicked and they never come back because it's too hard. True. Oh no, I can't deal with losing or I can't deal with this physicality or I can't deal with hard things. I'm going to give up. But I want to do hard things and then keep going. I fell in love with what it represented and then me and my wife were dreaming on a subway one day in Japan and what would we call it? And then we finally, she always says that she came up with the name Daruma Dojo. I'm like, I like it because dojo means a learning place of learning. and Daruma means like never giving up. You go to this place learning, you never give up and you grow like that, keep learning and never give up. And so that's for me why, Dojo is Daruma Dojo When we opened up, we came up with a name, we came up with a logo eventually, before we even had a place and then I was teaching in Redwood City and then I was promoting the brand within UFC gym. As stickers or just like hoodies and that was never intending to open a gym really it was just like a brand or and then When I opened up my gym in Sunnyvale it took off because I had a following It was the right place at the right time. I think and we had something going on. We did really well And I just was like, so happy that, because when you teach jiu jitsu for, and when you work for somebody else, you're limited into what you can do, into your creativity. Like you have a vision, but you can't, unless depending on the structure of the business, the chances are you're not going to be able to do that because you're always working for somebody else. They're going to hold you back or there's going to be compromise. I want to do this. Okay, you could do that, but you could only do that when or if or, so eventually I was like, screw that. I'm at a place in my life where I'm ready to take a chance and commit. And I went all in I put a hundred percent, me and my wife put our savings into it, like everything. Like I had some friends that wanted to buy in, but they wanted to be like, they wanted to own a portion of the business. Like, no, no, no, I think we can afford this and Keiko had a savings. I had a little bit and we just did it. One of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Right on. After you opened up, the dojo in Sunnyvale. It's been a great success. I can see, all your postings on Instagram, just being there visiting, all the people there, you have a lot of, upper belts, that are truly loyal to you and have helped you there. What made you decide to branch off into another city? Yeah, I think you made a good point. Like I'm so grateful for my team there. That are loyal and that support Duruma Dojo because like I mentioned earlier, like we can't do it by ourselves. It's impossible, right? You can't run a business by yourself. You need a team. Like my wife, Keiko, was working full time job at a school as a daycare teacher, educator, and she would come and also work full time at the dojo. She was working like 80 hours a week. I'm working 80 hours a week. And that's like the dedication that we had, but because of her support and because of these other, athletes and just practitioners, that supported me along the way, like we built a community and that's what I. Envision for us is like the community that we build the culture, you know that judgment free zone where you can learn and be the best person that you can be because once I got a certain point in my life That was all I wanted to do was like I just want to grow and be a better person And I know that jiu jitsu is a great tool to do that and I want to create a space where people can do the same thing and we did our best to do that and we're still learning about our culture. I'm learning more and more about our culture as I as a business owner Like I want to continue to foster this culture. It wasn't until about a few months ago that I starting to realize what our culture is, like we're here for people to learn to grow for the families that they feel safe to bring their kids where their kids can have a good time the kids can learn and build confidence and belief in themselves. And same thing for the adults. Everyone does it just for a different reason. But, I think the main reason is they want to be better. They want to be in better shape. They want to be, better equipped to defend themselves. They want to be, a better human. They want to have more confidence. Jiu jitsu helps us become better and so like how can I foster that culture for people to be the best version of themselves Yeah, and then Eventually like when I got to certain point, I think that business naturally was growing and I was It was after maybe about a year as we opened, I was looking into a second location because I think it was just going that direction because of the growth. I could have potentially expanded the location that we had into the space next door. I actually was going that route at first. Oh, our business is growing. We need to expand. So let's make this place bigger. Spent a lot of months on that deal that just didn't work out. Because of. the way things were structured with the landlord, it just didn't work out and that was unfortunate. I thought, if expanding this space isn't the option, maybe a second location is. I was looking at Milpitas for a long time because I was out here with my youth sports company and I had an affinity for this area. It reminded me a little bit of my home in Brentwood, like it's a real family town I feel. It's a commuter town, which same thing is in Antioch and Brentwood, most people commute from there. And I think people in Milpitas don't usually work in Milpitas. They usually, a close to home commuter. They commute to San Jose, they commute to San Francisco. It's very family focused because when I was teaching the youth sports here. I saw a lot of families and I saw like they had strong family core values. So I had an affinity because it reminded me of home here. And so I was like, I was looking into Milpitas for a long time I actually had a spot that I was looking into a year ago and that fell through. The people that I wanted to go partnership with, they weren't committed. I was already stretched thin. I just knew the timing wasn't right. I didn't go through the deal. And it took a year to be patient. And in that year, my wife got pregnant and I was like, okay, this was a good year to be patient, to support her. And then in that year, I also did the Iron Man, which is one of my physical, attributes that I accomplished. But after my daughter was born, I was like, okay, now let's revisit Milpitas. And then things just fell into place. The spot opened and our business expanded. Our community's expanding, we've only been open for not even two months yet. But it's starting to grow. And, we have the community already from Sunnyville that they're already coming here in training and we're getting new members and we're just trying to, make our place here, like we did in Sunnyville, but in Milpitas in a different way. Because, Sunnyville was one community. Milpitas is a different community, but it's the same community as far as Druma Dojo, the same culture that we're trying to create, but also adapt to the different city. Great. That's awesome. Do you think you're going to branch out? Do you have any other places that you've been looking at? As of right now, no. Okay. I have multiple cities on my list. Okay. That I think would be good. Cities for jiu jitsu, Uhhuh, But I'm still in the thick of it right now. What were the biggest lessons you learned from running your own business? I think the biggest, one of the biggest lessons is like the discipline, because no one's going to do it for you. You got to do it for yourself and you have to find a way and learn. So I think it's great to have a white belt mentality, a white belt mindset, a beginner's mind, right? Because I'm good at Jiu Jitsu. I've been doing Jiu Jitsu for 22 years. I'm good at teaching Jiu Jitsu. And because of my experience with the US Sports Company, I became, in my education, I became good at, or better, maybe blue belt level at certain parts of business, like marketing or, promotions or events. Like we're definitely known for holding events, but there's a lot of parts of business that, Are really difficult, that you have to learn. You have to be ready to be a white belt all over again and start from the very bottom, finances. Construction. That's probably the part I dislike the most is like this place we had to do a lot of construction and project managing. I'm so grateful that I have family and friends that are good at this and I can learn from them and I'm with them as all the whole step of the way. I have to give a huge shout out for my father. He helped me build the first gym. Oh, nice. Because of him, we have the first gym. Nice. He did everything. And I was with him the whole way. And because of my friend Matt Munoz, and Jim, and, Giglio and my dad as well for helping here, but mostly Matt did this place, I can't do it. I'm like a no stripe white belt. And he's a black belt. It's very nice and clean. Thanks. Thank you, Matt. and my dad helped a lot as well here, but like he's, that's been the biggest help. I think that is the, what I've learned is, I learned this through jiu jitsu, but also through businesses that you have to keep a beginner's mind. You have to be willing to learn because if you want to be successful, like you have to put that hat on every once in a while, put that white belt on again and just like, all right, Yeah, let's learn. And it was exciting because although it's very hard and very difficult and very stressful and it's hard, but, if you're determined, like you can learn, like if you can get a black belt, you can learn whatever. Yeah, absolutely. What advice would you give someone trying to turn their passion for martial arts into a career? If someone wants to turn what they love into a career, I'll give two big things that I think are important. One is you have to go all in. That's my opinion. Some people are scared and everyone's scared. I'm terrified when I open up my gym and I'm still like scared for my new location, right? If you're not committed 100 percent and you're not all in, you're doing a disservice to what could be, right? I went in with a mentality, especially the Sunnyvale location and even this location is I'm going to go all in and if it doesn't work out, at least I know that I did 100%. Yeah. And if something catastrophic happens and, I know that I could recover from it. But I was able to live my life and say, Hey, I did it. Like I gave everything, I went all in. It's hard for me to give like advice, say, quit your job, quit your day job and go all in, forget about, The finances, and forget about your family and just go all in. But if you have that opportunity and the only thing holding you back is fear, do it. Go all in, give your whole life savings and do it. If you lose everything, you can start it back again. At least, you know, you tried. Exactly. And the second piece of advice I would give people that want to turn their passion into a career. Is you have to be willing to do things that are not your passion because if you want to turn this passion into a career and you want to do what you love, you better be ready to do the things you hate. Be so that you can do what you love, right? Because if you. If you're just going to do that part and not be disciplined enough to do the other parts, or if you're wealthy and you can pay someone to do everything for you, then maybe that's an option. But if you love it, you'll do the things you don't love just so that you have that opportunity to do the things you do love. If that makes sense. It does make sense. A lot of sense. You competed in an Ironman race, or Ironman races, right? I've completed, half Ironmans, and one full Ironman. I've ran, I've done ultramarathons, where I've ran 50 plus miles, and I did one, I did a 100 mile race before too. Yeah, I remember being present for your 100 mile race. Yeah, I remember that. That was crazy. Yeah, that was wild. Yeah, okay, so let's talk about what mental strategies did you use to push through those tough moments in those races? And you can tell us a little bit about the different races that you've done. Yeah, I think just keep going. it's simple, but if you run a hundred mile race, or if you do an Ironman, like I was lucky enough to accomplish, you're going to have moments of high, like the highest highs you'll ever have in your life. And you'll have, you're going to also have the lowest lows you ever had. I think it's just like life, like you're going to have downs and ups, and that's just the way it is, right? When you're at your highest high, enjoy it, but also know that the low is going to come, so be humble. Enjoy the moment, and then when you're at your lowest low, always remember that as long as you keep going forward, And you keep your eye on, the prize, or you keep your eye on the goal that's ahead of you, that high is going to come back again. And hopefully, once you do hard things, like a hundred mile race, or get clean from an addiction, or earn your black belt in jiu jitsu, or complete an Ironman, you just open a business, turn your passion into a profession You just level the bar for yourself and now your baseline of like your confidence and your baseline of what you think life can be has just been raised and then you do it again. You do it again. I did one hard thing so I could do another. Right? So I think the mindset is you have to be disciplined. You have to put the hard work. You have to set a goal and no matter what you have to just keep going forward. Okay? Yeah. How has the mindset required for endurance sports helped you in other areas of your life? It gave me the confidence that if I could do that, I could do anything. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. I have the confidence. If I want to accomplish another feature, accomplish another goal, There was times in my races that I thought I was like gonna die or I wanted to give up. I was telling people in my Ironman race, I wanted to give up at least 20 times, at least there was one time it was really bad. Like I wanted to quit. I don't think I can go on. And then I was like, okay, like I'm willing to die out here. Just because I'm determined to go forward and everything's going to be okay. Yeah, everything's going to be okay. And then I was really lucky like preparing for the Ironman race. I worked with mental coaches. Fernando Lopez and I had a psychologist that I was working with this clinical psychologist and they gave me a lot of tools to help overcome these fears and overcome these anxieties for my Ironman and then for the hundred mile race, my buddy Mark, he did it. I'm like, Hey man, if he can do it, like I can learn from him. Like I'm going to be white all over again, and learn how to run and just did study. And there was times where I just wanted to give up, and then once you get past that moment, then it just gets better. So I learned that it's okay to want to quit. And that's fine. You can take a break. When I wanted to quit an Ironman, I just started pedaling my bike slower. I was like, okay, I want to quit. I feel like I'm going to die. I'm having these terrible thoughts and terrible feelings. but you know what, I think the natural thing is people want to go faster. I got to go faster so I can beat this. But instead I was like, no, let's slow down. Yeah. Let's go slower. Let's pedal slow. So if you're having a hard time, slow down. Yeah. Don't try to go faster, slow down, but don't stop moving forward. You don't have to run. You could. You could walk, you could crawl. But eventually. Okay. If I can walk, I can run. And if I can run, I can sprint. Yeah. For the finish line. Okay. If you could go back and talk to your younger self at age 18, what advice would you give him? If I can talk to my younger self, I think I would give a similar advice that I mentioned earlier, which is I just tell him it's going to be okay. I give him a hug and I say, Hey, man, like you're worth it. You're worthy. You have people that love you and find a support system and you're going to be good. You're going to be okay. Yeah, that's it. I don't know. It's hard to say you can't go back and I would have done this different, I think he just needed a little more love and support. Yeah. Compassion. That's it. What legacy do you hope to leave behind in BJJ, business and in life? I don't think too much about like legacy as far as like how I want to be remembered. I want Daruma Dojo to continue living on, I think it's nice to be creative and to say and to be a part of something that we created and if that can continue and that would be fantastic. And then, I think that's the most important thing for me in BJJ is that we can maintain a culture that we have. Daruma Dojo continues to grow even long after I'm dead. And now that I have a family, my daughter, I see things so differently. I see, you know, how can I raise her? How can I provide for her? And you know, when I'm gone. What am I going to be able to leave her, not only financially, which I hope I can set her up for success financially through our business ventures and through Jiu Jitsu, and through our financial planning, but also like mentally, because that's more important because, my family wasn't rich and I'm not rich, but I'm building a business, I'm building a community. Because it all started, like you said, from a mindset from, getting clean, from doing hard things, from doing jiu jitsu, from developing a belief, from working on myself, I want to leave that to her and to my students. The ability to believe in themselves and move forward. Tell me about your family and your support Yeah, my family is most important thing is my wife, Keiko. and now my daughter, Elia, like they are my family. I have a big family. I have my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister, but we have our own family now. I just want to spend time with them. And I just want to be with them. I'm so grateful because like now me and Keiko have always been a good team. And our relationship has grown so much, we've been dating since 2012. So we've been together for 13 years, been married for what, eight years. Yeah, eight years. and we've just continued to grow together. Like she told me the other day, she's like, and I, it meant a lot to me, she said, I love you so much more now than I did before. I just, not that I didn't love you, but like you're just such a different person now. Our relationship is stronger and I feel the same way. Like I've only loved her more and more. I've never loved her less, and because we communicate well, especially since the last five, five plus years, almost six years, Our communication has gotten strong and we just work really well together. Even with business, like I was telling her the other day that, some people, maybe they have a family business, but then like they have a hard time separating their marriage relationship and then their work relationship and then they're like parenting relationship and then for me and I was like, yeah, I don't get that like it's just one relationship. Some people have a hard time being married and in working together. Maybe if she was my student on the mat, then maybe it'd be different. I don't know. I don't know, but I'm just very lucky. Super lucky, so grateful that when I first started dating Keiko, she was the only woman that I was ever dating that I could see, a marriage and that I could see her being, like, the mother of my child. And I was like, this is different. Okay. I could see her. I could see a future. And we tried for many years to have kids and it was unsuccessful and we thought I guess like we told each other if we don't ever have kids, that's fine. Like we have each other. Yeah, and If it's not meant for us Then you know, hey We have each other we still we're gonna be okay. Yeah, And then we got lucky with Ellia, like she came and this was at the point where I didn't give up. I think Keiko kind of thought it wasn't going to happen, we both got into this state of acceptance, Hey, the chances are it's not going to happen. But we proved the chances wrong, I guess. Your little miracle. Yeah, she is. And, she was premature a couple of months. She was healthy and, she is healthy and she's 10 months now. And, my, my favorite time of the day is just spending time with her, just like hugging and cuddling and playing and it's been great so far, 10 months, 10 months so far. I'm a white belt all over again. Yeah. White belt. Yes. In parenting. Parenting. For sure. And Keiko awarded me my first stripe the other day. Cause Keiko, she's been working in early childhood development for 20 years. Oh, so she, she knows. Children rearing, she knows this age group where they're like newborns to about one or two. That's her ballpark where she plays with. And so she understands the development. So she's a black belt. Although she hasn't been a mom, right? So when you have your own kid, it's different. But there's still a lot of this, she still has a lot of skills. I've always had a hard time to put her to sleep. If she's crying and I'd rock her and she'll calm down with me. But when I put her down to go back to sleep, she always wake up and start crying again. And then I get really anxious. And at that point it's done. Like I've, I have done like in the middle of the night, Keiko normally always gets up, but sometimes I would try to help or before we go to bed, she wakes up and she's crying. And so I. Try to put her, I asked Keiko questions like, okay, how do you do this? How do you hold her? How do you rock or how do you support the head? How do you put them down? And then she gives you all these tips, right? And I'm learning. I'm like, okay. I gave up like so many times, like four or five times, like where she, she's unsoothable and she's crying. And my anxiety is going through the roof and I'm like, I'm sorry, I put you back on the crib. You're crying your head off. I'm going to walk away now. You're okay. And then go get Keiko. And there was many times where I just thought I just, I, maybe I just, I can't do it. Maybe there's something. My, anxiety that I just can't soothe this baby. Or when I do soothe her and put her back down, she wakes back up. The other day, a few weeks ago, I finally was able to do it. And then she went back to sleep and then, Keiko's like, all right. Today you get your first stripe. Now jiu jitsu is life. I'm the one stripe white belt and parenting. I'm going to post everything about fatherhood now on Instagram. That is cool. Is there anything else you'd like to say? Thank you for the conversation. Thank you for having me on the podcast. Thank you for coming to the dojo and thank you for everything you've done for the community around here, like as an artist, as a photographer, as a practitioner, as a coach, like you really are doing a huge service for all of us. You're amazing. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, it's fun. I just love giving back to the community and, just meeting new people like you. yeah. I really like it a lot. So yeah, thanks for being my friend. Thanks for, for what you do for jiu jitsu and, giving back. And, you know, for me to promote my Dojo, we're in Sunnyvale, we're in Milpitas. You can message me on Instagram, you can send me an email. We have YouTube, we have TikTok, we have Instagram, we have Facebook. I teach at San Jose State. I teach San Jose State Mondays and Wednesdays, the Jiu Jitsu program there, I like to, connect the college universities and their programs. Come train Jiu Jitsu, come check us out, it's what I love to do, so I could do Jiu Jitsu all day and talk about Jiu Jitsu all day and help people become better, try to find their path, right? Yeah. My philosophy when it comes to coaching is I want people to find their path and I want to set up a place where they feel comfortable to make mistakes and feel comfortable to explore and to be curious about Jiu Jitsu. And through that curiosity and through that exploration and having that safe environment and culture and community, they can do that. And so if you're interested in having something like that, come check us out. Duruma Dojo. Reach out to Alberto, him and his family. They're doing good stuff in all areas. So thank you. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Okay. Take care. You too. Bye. Bye.