#4 Mark Herman BJJ Part II

Transcript

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Yeah, I went and did that Hollywood thing and that music thing for a huge chunk of my life. And All of a sudden I was this fuck up kid from San Jose, Santa Clara. With a bunch of fucking felonies. To all of a sudden, I'm on the cover of the Mercury News, picture of my band. So that was kind of like the first victory As an adult that I had. All of a sudden, I'm standing on stages in different countries, commanding thousands of kids to fucking jump off the stage and fly through the air and slam their bodies into each other. We had a good run. We got picked up in the early two thousands. Then, like I said, a lot of ego, a lot of alcoholism and different substance abuse problems. It's like typical shit you see on what happened to that band. I've got success. I've got that record deal that I dreamed about having, from the, time I decided I was gonna start playing music. When you give young, men, opportunities like that with very little fucking direction and guidance, they'll fucking blow it. We blew it. We didn't play ball with our record company, over inflated fucking everything with everybody. Started kicking people out of the band, or people were leaving. Then when we finally dropped our record, we were number three to rock radio in the nation. Fucking had a single, it was on fucking live 105, every fucking radio station in the US. That's cool. It was meant for us to blow the fuck up. They were waiting for us to blow the fuck up. And we were doing good. We were supposed to go to New York City to the High Times Awards. We were at home. I was sitting on the, bed. I had just woken up. I was getting ready to leave and my wife and my son at the time, they were already in the living room. I was sacked out. I didn't go to bed back then until like four something in the morning. I was on rock and roll hours and my kid's mom comes in and she goes, I don't think you're going to be traveling today. What are you talking about? She turns the fucking news on the fucking airplane flies in the fucking tower one. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm sitting on my bed watching everybody watch 9 11. And we just dropped this record. Then, you know, we don't hear anything. We're in shock like everybody else is, right? Yeah. Then, like, about a week into it, our record company calls us up and they're like, You guys have lost all momentum on rock radio. Pull on your record. We don't know what to do. We've given you guys almost two million dollars. Horrible tragic incident has fucked up all record sales and all touring you guys are done touring for the year. Then it's just like oh fuck. What do we do? Then I feel like a couple weeks later we got another phone call. It was like the record company's gonna drop you. They gave you all this money and what companies, you know, people think they get all this money and all this shit. But at the end of the day, if it doesn't work out for the record company, they just write you off on their fucking taxes. Right. Bad investment, fucken whatever. So we talked to our label guy and we're just like, Hey man, we sold all these fucking records in Japan fucking way before fucking you. He goes, well, I'll see what I can do. Cause we're trying to hold on. Dude comes back, a few days, week later, and he was like, fuck, you guys have sold a lot of albums in Japan on your own. We're like, yeah. At that point in our career, when we were touring, I remember Japanese people showing up fucking random fucking venue. Some Japanese guy shows up with, 10 garbage bags and just buys all our merch and leaves. Doesn't even stay for the show. Dang. So we knew something was going on over there. So he reaches out to Warner Brothers Japan. And fucking Warner Brothers Japan sees our sound scan and they're like, we'll put out this Insolence record. Guy calls up all excited. He's like, well, the Japanese are putting out your record. Let's see how it goes. You know, and we're still kind of sitting around, jam and write music because we're kind of at this dormant pause. Bands aren't even touring because of the terrorist attacks at that time. Right. Record drops. We don't hear nothing. Then all of a sudden we get a phone call. he goes, you guys just sold the most records out of any unknown band in Japan. Ever. And we're like, what? What the fuck does that even mean? He's like, you know, in America, platinum is a million records. Gold is half a million records. The territory's big. Right. Japan's the size of California. Out of nowhere we sold, uh, I want to say I think we sold 15, 000 copies in the first week. So that's considered huge out there. It was like, whoa, I think you sold 15, 000 copies. We're thinking 15, 000 here, ain't shit. We don't know what 15, 000 copies means in Japan. Next week, you guys sold another fucking 20, 000 albums last week. We're like, whoa, what the fuck? You know? That's great. Keeps going on and on. Then all of a sudden it's like, you guys are going to Japan. We're like, what? And they're like, you guys are fucking huge there right now. Hop on an airplane, fly to Japan. when was this? What time period? This is probably two 2001. Okay. We land in Japan, we get to our hotel, and all of a sudden our driver picks up the phone and they take us to a different hotel. We ended up with so many kids in our hotel room waiting for us to show up. The hotel fucking was like, fuck these guys, get them out of here. So they put us in another hotel room. We go up to our rooms, we're like, Hey, we're in Japan. We go walk around, you know, we've got our little representative, little Japanese lady from Warner Brothers. She's showing us Tokyo and doing all the touristy shit. Then we get back to the hotel, and there's like fucking 300 fucking kids in the lobby. All our fans. And it was just like, Fuck. Were they going nuts? They were going nuts. Crying. Japanese fans cry. Boys, girls, whatever, they fucking cry. So we walk in and all of a sudden there's all these fans. And all these girls and you know, we get back to our room and I think everybody's just fucking shell shocked. We had our fans, but we've never had a hotel lobby full of people waiting for us. I'm only speaking for me personally, but it was just like, fuck, I was like, these people are here for fucking me. These chicks are fuckin here for me. I went off and I did all that rock and roll shit that you hear about from the fuckin 80s and fuckin you know, partied in my room and did all the fuckin debauchery you could fuckin do. It was a dream come true. I bet! We end up playing, a couple thousand seater first night in Japan. Same thing second night, same thing third night. Fly home, fucking end up back in Japan, after being home for a few months, shows are bigger. then at this point, you know, we're going to Japan, twice a year. We have our songs and karaoke machines in every fucking bar, custom agents knowing who we are when we walk in. Walking out into venues with, 50, 000 people, 25, 000 people. Oh, that's amazing. Finally felt like I had arrived. It wasn't in America, but it was in another country. It was Japan, and what a fucking cool place to be famous. Yeah. You know what, I hear about the energy when you're on stage, that people give back to you as a band. Can you explain that to us? It's, it's, you know, I always try to describe people would always be like, what's it like to be on stage in front of that many people? When you're new at it, it's like being told if I can jerk off in front of an audience. You know? And I remember when I first started playing music, I turned my back to the crowd, just wasn't confident, but at this point I'd been doing this shit for fuckin a hot minute. You know, being on stage, it's something that level, you don't ever realize, too, when you're standing in an arena and you're on stage, it's about 140 degrees on stage. It is. It's pretty hot in the crowd, too. It's hot as fuck. You've got to perform, you've got to do your thing, you've got to give it your all, but the energy you receive, I can't even describe it. You know, it's like naturally being high on methamphetamines while having a fucking orgasm. You know, I just got in a fist fight. Adrenaline shit, you know It's addictive. I bet. I got addicted to it. I was fully addicted to it. You know, it sparked that, whatever thing I had in me. Addicted to the energy. Addicted to the attention. Of course. You know, everything was about me. Remember that movie Boogie Nights? You know, there's that scene with Mark Wahlberg and he's fucking like all high on coke and he's fucking talking to that porno director and he's like, this is my big dick and I want to fuck right now, that's the energy you have when your fucking ego is that big and you're a kid and you're all fucked up. That's how my life was for a long time. I'm not bragging about it. I've done so much shit that I'm not proud of. But it was also shit I did when I was a really young man. Yeah. I'm very fortunate. You know, that I got to live through these experiences, and I did it from my 20s into my 40s. The band had totally fallen off in the U. S., but we always had Asia. We moved back to Europe, again, too, at some point. I went out there for the paycheck. Right. At the end of the day. You know, fucking, let's go to Japan. It's gonna be a couple weeks paid vacation. Go play a bunch of our old songs. Go fucking hang out with chicks. Go party. Come home with fucking, five, ten grand. Then me and the other singers started just going out there by ourselves. We'd party, we do all of our reggae and hip hop shit that we did, just to a fuckin iPod. We had all the beats on the iPod, we'd plug it into the PA system, and it'd be like, Mark and Mecca One from Insolence, you know? And fuckin all of a sudden, just, Me and the other singer playing in front of fucking 300 kids, just lip syncing to our shit, just chilling at the party with them. So we did that for a long time. Then as the years went by, it only became a couple of us. Like the original dudes, everybody was a fucking hired gun. There wasn't a lot of camaraderie. I wasn't really connected to anybody. Basically I'm at this point, I'm 20 years into my career and I'm not happy. Fucking failed marriage. You know, original members are just me and the other singer, and he's been my childhood friend since we were like 13. My son was a senior in high school. He just turned like 18 at the time. I had somewhere down the fucking road been like, me feeling bad that I was a fucking high school dropout, I've been dipping out to Japan his whole life and he'd never gone. He'd always, you know, he's into Godzilla and all the anime shit. All the shit I'd always bring him home from Japan, over the years. Somewhere down the line, I was like, if you fucking graduate high school, I'll fucking take you to Japan with me. Tell everybody what his name is. My son's name is Gage. Creepy kid. Love him. My dad was also dying. So on my 42nd birthday, my dad had been in a care facility, had fallen and broken his pelvis. At this point, my dad was this big, strong dude. My whole life, we look like fucking identical twins. He'd had all these health issues for fucking like well over a decade, kind of given up on life, but he slipped in the house and shattered his pelvis. Man, that's rough. He'd been on dialysis already for a few years. I'm at home. It's the night before my 42nd birthday. My dad's in this like rehabilitation facility. He was like, Hey, I want you to come hang out with me for a little bit. It's your Birthday. And, you know, I talked about how, Gnarly my relationship with my dad was, and I'd never earned my dad's respect when I was a kid. I skateboarded, I fucking, I did everything he didn't like, went to fucking jail, kicked me out of the house. But when I found music, it had reconnected me with my father. And my dad wasn't a music guy he was a sports guy. And it reconnected me with my dad. My dad showed up at every local show. My dad had been in Alcoholics Anonymous for years because he was an addict. And he'd always wear my fucking shirts to AA meetings. And people would be like, my shirt, how do you know about them? And he'd be like, oh, it's my fucking son. That is amazing. You know, we'd play, you know, we'd come into town and we'd pull up in our big old fucking tour bus when we first got our record deal and my dad was always front and center in line. He's in this facility, he's fuckin hooked up to IVs, fuckin hands don't work, he can't walk, he's fuckin shattered his pelvis. And he looks at me and he goes, I'm coming home for your birthday. I look at my dad and I'm like, they're gonna fuckin let you come home just to fuckin celebrate my birthday with me? You know? Fuckin probably all stoned and naive. Yeah. And he goes, Mark, I'm coming home to die. Man. I looked at him, I was like, What the fuck's wrong with you? You're coming home to die on my fuckin birthday? My dad looks at me, and he goes, Man, your mom's been taking care of me for so long. My mom retired early. Just cause he, you know, at this point in his illness, he needed nursing care. Right. So my mom fuckin took care of him. He goes, your mom's been wiping my fucking ass for fucking couple years now. And I'm a fucking man. You know what this makes me feel like? I was like, dad, it's like, I'm coming home to die. Whether you like it or not. He goes, I'm dying. I was like, wow, that's tough. So I dip out of there. I call my mom. I'm like, what the fuck? And she's just like, your dad's done. She's like, I can't make him want to live anymore. They brought my dad home that night. Set up the room, hospice care. He was on a fucking thousand medications for everything. Right. They took him off all that shit. He gave me a bunch of money and told me to go get whatever the fuck I wanted for fucking dinner, cause it was gonna be probably his last real meal. Right. Went and bought a bunch of fucking lobster and fucking, Prime rib and we cooked it all up and we have this big feast for my fucking dad. Good. And then he started his hospice. I basically had hung out in a room with my dad for a little under two weeks just watching him die. I have an older brother and my mom was fucking exhausted she would take care of this fucking dude for almost 50 years. My dad wasn't an easy man. My brother and I at this point, you know, we've got such a big age gap. We've never been close and we're kind of estranged too. I always grew up real tight with my dad even though I didn't like a lot of shit that he did and like dude never let me drown. He let me almost drown. But he'd always grab me by my fucking hair. Yeah. Punch me in the face and make sure I had oxygen. He set you straight, Mark. He set me straight. Dad came home, and at this time, too, with the band, I was suing an old bandmate. The band had been inactive for a couple years, and I had realized that I had lost my trademark. One of my original band members was like, fuck Mark and these dudes. He took advantage of it. I own the rest of the marks in the other territories of the world. So it was like, whatever, we're not even big in America. But he simultaneously was like pulling down all of our music off iTunes and Spotify. When you even look up my band to this day, you can find our one record that we put out on Maverick, but all of our other music's gone. So, I went through this big fucking thing. Suing this fucking dude. My dad on his death bed. He's like, man, you're so unhappy. He goes, let this shit go. I'm like, I've spent all this fucking money. You know, my dad's like, let it go. He's like, you're not happy. You should probably fucking quit the band too. I'm like, I'm leaving on fucking tour, you know? And he's like, quit when you're done. So I'd already started thinking about it. Week and a half goes by. My son's graduating high school. Awesome. I'm sitting there with my dad and he's fucking not even coherent at this point. He's just hopped up on morphine. He hasn't, you know, he's bloated and he's yellow. my mom looks at me and goes, your son's graduating high school. She goes, you need to be there. At this point, I'd started fucking popping pills again. It was the only way I knew how to cope. I was fucking eating a ton of fucking Xanax. You know, I was taking care of my dad. I was staying in a house that I hadn't been in for a long time. Took care of my dad. Took off to my son's graduation. Popped some more pills at my son's graduation. My uncle comes rolling up, you know, with his ex wife and I look at him and I made eye contact with him right when I made eye contact with him, I already knew. Man. Watched my, son graduate high school. Went and had his parties and I'm, you know, at this point I'm pretty fucking numb. Of course. My son had no idea I bought him a plane ticket to Japan. And we had his graduation party and everybody took off and me and my ex wife, took him into the bedroom and he goes, my grandpa died. We're like, yeah, your grandpa passed away. Right after I said that, I pulled out, you know, an e ticket for, you know, open ended ticket to, you know, Japan. So I got to take my son, out to Japan. He did a whole, you know, Asian tour with us. Kind of got to see that it wasn't all, you know, rock and roll and sushi. It was a lot of fucking hard work and no sleep. We did all these concerts and it was just like one city to the next. I'd had an ex girlfriend out there. She knew I was hurting. So she pretty much took care of my kid the whole time. I gave her a couple grand and was like, can you come on tour with us and just make sure my son has fun. So she came out with her husband and they basically took care of my kid while I sat in a fucking room, drank and pop Xanax and would have to, crawl up onto the stage every night. Do you think because you didn't get a chance to process what you, I didn't process shit. It was just like trauma to rock and roll. Wow. My son had a great time, but these were, you know, at the moment I didn't have any idea, but these were going to be the last concerts I ever performed. And there were the worst concerts I've ever performed. My last impression that I, you know, me personally, it was, I went out and it's fuckin hurting. At this point, you know, I'm suing this other band member. Like all the fun was taken out of it. I didn't love it anymore. At this point I'm out there to give my then 18 year old son an experience. That's great. Band, went and did their thing after the tour was over and I hopped on an airplane and went to southern Japan with my son. I went and stayed with a tattoo artist buddy of mine and my son and I were in a beach in Nagasaki and I looked at my kid and I was like, I'm done. He was like, what do you mean you're done, dad? This is like, your whole life's been playing music. Coming out to Japan. And I was like, yeah, I'm done. And my son's like, this is fucking great. I just seen thousands of people and fucking hundreds of kids wanting your autograph. And I looked at my kid and I was like, I don't care about any of that shit anymore. And I told my son, I was like, if you think this is so cool, and this is something you want to do when you grow up, go for it. This is my life and I'm, I'm fucking hanging it up. So we flew home. We have my dad's fucking service. And before my dad had passed away, you know, one of the things he had told me is like, he's like, you've come so far. He's like, and I'm looking at you and you're all fucked up on drugs right now. Like he knew. And he was like, get your shit together. Quit the fucking band. Stop suing this fucking dude. Go do something else. Yeah. So, um, came home and I dodged my band for like fucking two months. Turned my phone off, wasn't calling anybody. And, it was kind of a fucking bitch way, but like, I always had this way of whenever I was getting pulled out of the band, it would fucking, it would pull me back in. Right. The money would pull me back in. The fucking travel would pull me back in. The excitement would pull me back in. I was afraid of all that. So I just sent out a fucking text message to everybody. It was like, I quit. I'm going to give you all the paperwork. I ain't tripping on you guys. Go find a fucking another singer, go do whatever the fuck you want. I'm out. Don't talk to me anymore. And then I proceeded to fucking like literally delete like half of my fucking people on my social media. Cause I don't want to talk about music anymore. I don't want to ask what happened. So, you know, fucking clip a few thousand followers off my Instagram, fucking anybody who asked me about the band on my Facebook page or any of my shit, it was just like delete, no answer. I just basically killed myself, killed my identity. I was like, I don't want to be this fucking douchebag. That's how I felt about myself at the time. I was looking back at my life. I had all this fucking success as a musician. But I didn't really have anything except, you know, a bunch of memories. And a bunch of fucking stories, you know, that I couldn't really tell my kid or my fucking mom. Or do any of this stuff to make them proud of me. You know, like telling my, my friends, you know, everyone's like, tell me your stories, you know, cause Mark's got the best fucking stories, you know? And all of a sudden it became something that I didn't want to talk about anymore. It wasn't fucking cool to me anymore. And I wanted to be somebody else. Right. And I didn't know who the fuck I was going to be, but I know I needed to do something different. So during this long music career that I've had, We had these big highs and lows where we'd do nothing. When I was probably about 34 years old, um, And like I said, I'm rewinding a little bit. I was like, fuck. I was like, what did I used to enjoy? It was like the first time I started fucking with the thought of not being a musician anymore. I was like, fuck, when I was a kid I used to ride my skateboard I wrestled, just go to fucking karate. It was religious about my karate. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a fucking ninja. So I was like, what am I going to do? So I started training. I found a gym, I got into kick boxing I was doing that to stay in shape in between touring and lack of touring and all that stuff. Like I mentioned before, you know, I'm going through all this stuff with my dad. I'm still training. And then, I'd come home from Asia with my kid, had my dad's funeral. And at this point, I was coaching self defense and different martial arts at a place called Academy of Self Defense. I just kind of dove into that, full blast for me. I've always had a job as a body artist. I've been a body artist for a couple of decades. I've been a body piercer. So I just kind of worked, kind of went and taught my martial arts, still fucking around, popping pills because of stress and shit, wasn't feeling good. And, I'd gotten done teaching a kickboxing class and I had a doctor's appointment and I hadn't, you know, I started smoking cigarettes again. And I was drinking and I was popping opiates and fucking, Xanax. Uh huh. I go in and I go have my physical with my doctor. Fucking, just taking my fucking blood pressure and fucking looks at it and fucking looks at me and doesn't say nothing and he does it again. And he goes, dude, your fucking blood pressure's at fucking stroke level. Oh, yeah. How many pounds were you overweight there? At this point, this is when I, you know, I had already started doing Jiu Jitsu, but like for me personally, I've never lost weight because I do Jiu Jitsu, you know? so, I'm overweight. Fucked up on drugs. It was always kind of my way of coping with stress was just pop a pill. Yeah. Doctors tell me I'm at stroke level, fuckin does a bunch of blood tests. Fuckin tells me I'm fuckin pre diabetic. I'm gonna fuckin have a heart attack or a stroke at some point. Right. And I was just like, fuck, I'm a mess. My dad was a type two diabetic who didn't take care of his shit. And I watched him fucking die. And I saw how fucking horrific it was and how slow it was watching him die. And I was like, fuck, you look just like, dude, you do look a lot like your dad. I was like, and this dude just fucking basically set you up with a roadmap on how not to live and how you're going to fucking die if you don't start fucking taking care of yourself. A couple of years before I'd lost one of my closest long term friends to cancer. A couple of years before my dad died, he was a heavy cigarette smoker and, you know, he died of throat cancer and that's what got me to quit smoking, originally. Right. Doctor tells me, you know, you're fucked up. You got to quit smoking. At this point I think I'm drinking like fucking four energy drinks in the fucking day. Just cause. Heart attack waiting to happen. Yeah. So the doctor wants to see me again and he's talking about putting me on a bunch of medication. High blood pressure meds, type 2 diabetic meds, and I was just like, oh fuck, I'm turning into my fucking dad. It's the last thing I want. Walked out of the doctor's office and was like, okay, I need to start changing some shit. I remember going into Barnes and Nobles and I find this book on like, keto diet. And I was like, okay. Okay, fucking sounds cool, you know. Fucking eat a bunch of meat. Fucking vegetables and shit. And I'd always yo yo dieted when I was in the music industry. Cause like we'd go shoot a video or have to fucking take pictures. So I'd go on the Atkins diet for a fucking couple months. And lose 30 pounds. And, you know, look cool for a fucking couple days. And then leave on tour, pound a bunch of beer and be fat again, right. So, I was like, all right, I'm going to take this shit serious. Went back on this fucking diet and then, all I was eating was ribeye steaks, black coffee and eggs, all protein, all protein and fat. And then, you know, within a few months, I'd lost fucking like 30 some pounds and fucking, I was like, I don't need to go see the doctor. I feel great. The job that I was teaching self defense at, I ended up getting fired from. You did what happened? I got into it with another coach. And you know, this is all pre Jiu Jitsu, and I've never fit in the gym I worked at. There was a lot of law enforcement and it was a Krav Maga gym. There was a lot of people fucking that, would show up because they wanted to think they were fucking John Wick. I grew up in a tough guy house. My dad was a boxer. I fucking wrestled, I'd spent a good chunk of my life training and Coaching this Krav Maga program and it's funny because the Jiu Jitsu, community always see fucking people making fun of it. We do. I make fun of it, too but I I taught this shit for years and I actually you know there's a lot of it that I believe in and there's a lot of it. That is just hocus pocus mcdojo shit. I remember fucking looking at these little moms that would show up at the classes And they're dressed up like they're fucking deploying in Afghanistan. I'd be like, fuck, this little soccer mom's all fucking kidded up. Ready for fucking battle and fucking, hit the bitch once and she starts crying. So I'm kind of at this snooty little gym and you know, I'm head to toe in tattoos. I signed up there, all the cops fucking hated me. Like I remember one of the cops just being like, they kind of finally let me in, I think somebody did a background check on me. huh. You know, and fucking they're like, alright, you know. They did everything to make it so I fucking wouldn't stay. But I kept showing up every day. Good. And I kept beating everybody up. All of a sudden, I go through the fucking programs there and I'm kickboxing and, um, you know, I originally showed up there for Jiu Jitsu.. Who was teaching there? Stan Kendrick. And a bunch of my cats, a bunch of cats that I grew up wrestling with in high school, in junior high school, they all trained under Stan. They're all blue and purple belts. So I show up at this gym and I'm like, Yeah, I gotta fuckin reunite with fuckin a bunch of my wrestling team. Sign up for fuckin jiu jitsu program. Do like two days, and then I come to class one day, I got my fuckin you know, little white Fuji gi on, and fuckin nobody's there. And I'm like, what the fuck? And they're like, yeah, jiu jitsu program's gone, dude, just up and left. We don't know where he went. So I ended up kickboxing and boxing. Because I liked the gym. Ended up becoming an instructor there and you know, fast forward, people either love me or hate me, and it's always kind of been that way. A couple of the teachers there didn't fucking like me. And it was just like, I kind of came up too quickly. And, uh, one of the dudes, he was like this Taekwondo black belt guy. And he always gave me backhanded compliments and talked a bunch of shit. He was like the Thursday night coach. I always had this big sparring program there. Dude's sparring program at night was fucking failing. So they're like, Hey, Coach Mark, you want to take Thursdays? And then it was just like, boom, all of a sudden I got fucking, 80 people, both sides of the fucking thing for my sparring class. Dude shows up to my sparring class. Being an asshole, you know, and he's this crazy Taekwondo guy and we're doing a round robin with all these students. And it's me and this other coach left and fucking, I go to touch dude's gloves thinking, you know, it's just going to be friendly coaches sparring and like cat kicks me in the fucking face. Just boom. Fucking wow. Snapkick right up the fucking middle. Bust my lips open. Fucking, And I was just like, Oh, fuck So I came back and, you know, make a long story short. I fucking kick kid in the knee, fucking blew his whole fucking knee off. Like I kicked his leg, shit pendulum into the other one. All of a sudden he's like three feet in the air, sideways, fucking knee hanging off. I took off my boxing gloves and my shin guards and I just fucking walked out of the gym. Man. And the owner had it all on surveillance. And the main owner fucking hated my guts. Oh no. So, I basically, I got ixnayed from my job. Cruised around for a while. Trying to find another fucking gym. I'd also sustained an eye injury at this point. I've had a couple eye surgeries. I had to have my lens reattached, corneal fucking problems, and my doctor was like, you know, you need to stop fucking around with this boxing shit, you're gonna fucking lose your eye. Fucking reattach your lens twice. And I was like, fuck, what am I gonna do? You know, this is such a big part of my life, I've been fucking kickboxing and doing all this stuff for about ten years at this point, you know, again. And I'm still, you know, playing fucking music in between. At this point I had stopped with the music shit. And I went to a different gym. My kickboxing coach is a French world champion named Jerome Turcon. He went and opened his own gym. Okay. And I followed him and he had an assistant who was this, you know, or a partner who was this guy named Alan. And, you know, I think he fought in Bellator and shit like that. I was like, showing up, but I couldn't really spar because fucking every time somebody fucking barely tapped my fucking eye, my fucking lens would fucking unattach. And fucking talking to this dude, Alan, and he's just like, what do you want to do? And I'm like, fuck, I can't do this anymore. I was like, I want to do Jiu Jitsu, but fucking like all the Jiu Jitsu. I see is these fucking dudes upside down and fucking I've had two back surgeries. I can't fucking do Jiu Jitsu. That's kind of the impression I've had about it, right? I was fucking seeing all these kids. Inverted and flying fucking arm bars and fuck it up. I was like, that's not me. I'm already, you know, middle aged at this time. I'm in my forties. And, he goes, nah, he goes, that's not the Jiu Jitsu you want to learn. He goes, you want to learn fucking old school Jiu Jitsu. And he goes, and there's this fucking dude that I know named Stan Kendrick. And he goes, this fucking big African American dude, he goes, I go train jiu jitsu with Stan when I was getting ready for fucking fights. So I was like, fuck, all right, I need to hunt down fucking Stan Kendrick, you know, and I knew who he was. So I go on to Facebook and I hit up my buddy, Mark, his mom and my mom, fucking, we're friends my whole life. And he was a purple belt under Stan at the time and Izzy. And I write them all, you know, and they're like, yeah, this is where the gym's at. So I went, went to fucking max muscle. Cause they sold Gi's at the nutrition shop. I can went and bought some fucking Gi and, walked into fucking Triune. At 42 years old, you know, with a white belt, hadn't worn a white belt for a long time. It was like, I want to learn jiu jitsu. Who was there when you first walked in? Coach Amador was a purple belt, now a black belt. Coach Phillip was a purple belt, now a black belt. Adrian from Salinas was a four stripe brown belt. And those were, I could only go during the day at the time. And I came walking in and, it was pretty much those, those guys, it was Amador, Phillip, and Adrian. So that's their lunch hour. Yeah. It was their lunch break. Yeah. So I show up and I'm this fucking big dude, I'm covered in fucking tattoos and, I'm like, yeah, I used to work at this fucking other gym and you're like, Amador and Phillip are just fucking nice. Yes, they are. And they were rad. And, you know, I just went for it. That same shit you fucking hear everybody, like, I wrestled in high school, you know? You wrestled in high school 20 years ago, motherfucker. You know what I mean? You don't know shit. But, I knew enough to where I wasn't scared and I went for it. And then fucking, they just tuned me up real fucking quick. Took my fucking back and I was like, I still wasn't like totally sold on it. You know, I've only done a couple classes. And then Adrian shows up with Jenna. Jenna's about fuckin 16 years old at the time, I didn't know Jenna was a fuckin championship fuckin teenage wrestling prodigy. She was. She was already a fuckin blue belt, Adrian, he was like, fuckin pieced me up, and then he hands this kid over to me, and I'm lookin at this fuckin tiny little fuckin kid, and I'm like, what the fuck's this little kid gonna do to me? Adrian goes, you can do whatever you want, just don't slam her. And I was like, fuck, alright. So if I can, I start sparring with Jenna. Fucking, like, 250 fucking plus at the time. And she's under me and she's squirming and she's doing all her shit. I'm like, what's this fucking kid gonna do? And all of a sudden, like, feel this fucking little girl's fucking arm. Took an underhook. She fucking scooted out from under me. And I'm out of breath. I can't even fucking breathe at this point. She grabbed my lat and all of a sudden I got this fucking kid on my fucking back, like a fucking spider monkey. And I'm flopping around and all of a sudden, like I felt her little arm go around my neck. Then I felt her lock it up. And I'm trying to pluck and fucking doing all my self-defense shit. And fucking this little kid had me and she fucking. Went for the choke, couldn't get the choke, and then she just turned that shit into like the meanest fuckin wrestler's fuckin neck crank. And I ended up fuckin tapping. And I just got fuckin beaten up by a child. Yeah, she's tough. I signed up and I was sold at that point. You know, and it's funny, cause I've, I think I'm in my ninth year of Jiu Jitsu now. I'm a brown belt. Hell yeah. And, you know, it's been a wild journey. I showed up and I kind of feel like those guys were kind of extra hard on me when I showed up. There wasn't a lot of white belts at Triune, nine, 10 years ago. Right. It was primarily known for being like a bigger guy, gym. I was this white belt with fucking dudes who already had, six, seven years on me. So I just showed up and just got fucking, destroyed every day. I pick stuff up quickly, but like, I didn't get like the basic fundamentals, like your average white belt gets I'm getting shit purple belts. know I'm getting shit brown belts know I'm getting stuff that dude's getting ready to get their black belts taught to me. So I'd had all this shit that I knew. But like, I feel like when I got my blue belt, my fundamentals totally sucked. I could do all these fucking different chokes, all this upper level shit, but it was like, wasn't coordinated enough to fucking, get into my arm bars and shit like that. Then I've gotten very into running, also. You know, I've gotten fully into my health. So, I'm a white belt. Trying to get my health back. I go to a tournament. My first competitions I did great. Then I go to this tournament and fuckin I got tired. And it was at, one of the fuckin ones they used to have in the city. I have a bunch of atrophy and problems with my right leg where it doesn't really work. People don't ever believe me when I say that, but fucking, cause I run and I do all this shit. But like, It could be worse if you weren't doing, having all this movement. My right leg, my foot, it's permanently numb. It's from my back injury I had when I was a kid. Right. So like, even in Jiu Jitsu I can't hip out well on that side. When I'm kickboxing, you never see me fuckin throw a fuckin right leg fuckin round kick. It doesn't work. But they're like, how is that possible? You run and shit too. And it's like, now my leg moves, you know, you've seen what happens to me. Yeah. I start hiking and I'm doing jujitsu. I'm trying to get my health back. I'm a white belt in jiu jitsu. And then all of a sudden I'm like, what else do I need to do? Start hiking and I'm cruising around the mountains. I'd taken this long sabbatical from fucking working after my dad died. And all I did was fucking hike and fucking go to jiu jitsu. And one day I was hiking and I fucking see these two dudes running up the side of the fucking mountain and they're just fucking ripped. And I'm fucking, you know, got my fucking water bottle in my backpack and I'm sucking up air and I'm I was like, fuck, that must be pretty badass to do that. And still didn't think about becoming a runner. And then I lost this tournament. Fucking Adrian was there, Phillip was there, you know, all my coaches to support me and I've made it to the last fucking match for fucking gold and fucking I'm still a fucking ultra heavyweight at this time. Right. And I'm not a big fucking, like, I'm a big dude, but like, for ultra heavyweights, like, I'm on the fucking smaller side. I end up catching this dude in a fucking throw. Got him fully up off the ground and my right leg gives out. Holy shit. And fucking dude ends up landing on me and all I hear is fucking Amador, Adrian and Josh saying close your guard. I didn't close my guard, fucking dude passed me, fucking got the points, fucking match was over. Quick. Fucking remember driving home just like, you know, fucking super upset. And I remember showing up to class and coach Stan was like, You know, because he was reffing. He was like, bro, your cardio gave out. He was like, your body just gave out. I was just like, fuck, man. Stood on that shit. He was like, all that hiking that you do is good and all, but that don't help out your cardio. You need to start doing fucking hill sprints. So I started going out to the hills that I was hiking at. Started doing sprints. Yep. And then I was like, fuck, see if I can run a little bit further than this up and down shit I'm doing. Yeah. And set a two mile goal for myself. Good. So, start running, and I'm like, yeah, I can do fucking two miles. Two miles, new goal, five miles. Cool. I can run five miles, and then one day I was like, This whole trail is, you know, eight miles. My goal is to do this whole trail now. And then, you know, practice, practice, practice, all of a sudden I run eight miles and not stop again. All of a sudden, you know, I go from 250 pounds to where, you know, I'm running 25, 30 miles a week and doing jiu jitsu and lifting weights. And all of a sudden I'm like, oh, fucking this running shit's kind of cool. I like it. It helps me escape and I've cleaned up myself from substances at this point. Mm hmm. And, it became kind of my new addiction. And then, I did a half marathon with one of my buddies in San Jose. And I was like, fuck, I just ran a half marathon. I wonder if I can go further. And then all of a sudden, you know, a few months later, I signed up for the San Francisco Marathon. How'd it go? I fucking flew through it. Awesome. You know, and I had a friend that I knew from another mutual friend who was a professional runner. But she wasn't like a marathon runner, she'd already done all that shit. She was an ultra runner. She ran hundred mile races and these big trail mountain races and shit out in fucking Death Valley and all this shit. And I was just like, How amazing would that fucking be? So I kept running and then I started doing 50 Ks, which is, you know, 32 miles and all of a sudden, within a year's time I went from half marathon to fucking marathon to where I start running these ultra marathons and I'm not like a seasoned runner, right? You know, I'm fucking, I'm a clown. I'm a musician. I'm a fucking entertainer and I'm a guy who, practices jujitsu, who's not very good at it, but like my running shit, you know, I learned it wasn't about how fast I was. It became a mental thing for me. I remember, I wanted to accomplish a couple things in my life after I quit playing music. And it was like, you know, I want to do jiu jitsu and I want to learn how to run. Yeah. Fast forward everything. My friend, who's the professional runner goes, you need to run a hundred miles. I'm like, no, that's some fucking crazy shit. I can't do that. You know, I'm still a big dude at this point. I'm 195, 200 pounds, super big for a fucking run. I start training with her and she's talking me into the slowly and then finally for my fucking, birthday, She's like, I want you to sign up for this race. I'm like, fuck, fuck it. I go to sign up for this race, a hundred mile race. I'm going to do it with her. Cause she's doing it too. And then COVID happens. And all of a sudden I'm like, fuck, I guess I'm not running this race, but I kept running. The world was shut down and everybody was fucking freaking the fuck out and fucking, I was unemployed. I lost my job. My girlfriend at the time lost her job. This is when everybody thought the fucking world was going to end still and they're curfewing fucking people. I was just like, fuck it. You know, I was like, I'm going to run every day until this shit's over with. I started going out, leaving my house at like five in the morning and I just started hitting the fucking hills and charging. I built up my mileage to where, you know, I'd walk out of the house at five 30 in the morning and I would come back 50 miles later. That's a great way to process this whole pandemic. I didn't have to deal with fucking any of the stress. I wasn't watching TV. I wasn't eating bad. I didn't have to fucking deal with my fucking girlfriend being stuck in the house with her. Nobody was allowed to be around each other. So I was like, perfect. I'm going to fucking roll a big fat joints, pack my lunch, throw them in my fucking running pack. I'm going to go out on the fucking trail all day. Yeah. So I'd go out and do 25, 30, 40, 50 miles. Let's go get lost. Fucking go find a new place to go. Then a few months into COVID, I had started kind of like building up this following on the internet because I was posting all my shit. I was like, wow, this is kind of bad ass. People are following me because I'm, I'm running. Then my friend Catra, she lives out in Bishop, California. She was like, hey, man, I'm gonna do a fucking hundred miles out here. They're doing these fucking weird little virtual races. I said, what the fuck's a virtual race? She goes, you're going to get accredited for your milage and time. You have this much time to finish. I packed up my truck. And like I said, at this point, I'm green as fuck. I'm wearing cotton shirts. I don't even got proper running shit. You know, the only proper shit I have is shoes and I ended up driving out to Bishop, California, which is like right next to Death Valley. Fucking, I think it was like late May. It hadn't gotten crazy yet. And she'd set up this hundred mile course for us to run. Normally people go, 5K, fucking 10K, Marathon, 25K, 50K, all that shit. They kind of graduate up. I was like, cool, I've done these 50Ks. Now this lady's convinced me that I can run fucking a hundred miles. And she's this, she looks like Rainbow Brite. She's this little lady, you know, she just turned 60 last week. She's one of the best humans I know. She's covered in tattoos and she's got a great, spirit, personality. She was like, you can do this. She's like, you do martial arts, you know? She's like, you've got the mentality, you're a warrior, da da da da da. I'm like, lay this a fucking hundred mile run and I don't get a sleep. And you guys run these fucking things in like 24 fucking hours and shit. So, all of a sudden I've got this like, humongous thing in front of me. And at this point, like I'm a purple belt in jiu jitsu, but it's COVID. I'm not rolling much. I was the one who was going to kill grandma and the family. I had to fucking, if I wanted to see my kid, I couldn't be fucking rolling. You know, I do it here and there, but like I had to kind of put a pause on my jiu jitsu and I just dove head first into the fucking, the running shit. I was like, fuck it. I told her I would do it. I went and announced it on the internet just so I could get all the doubters attention. Cause everybody always like, people who know me, they know me as like Mark the music guy, Mark the dude who smokes a bunch of weed, Mark the dude who fuckin does drugs, Mark the fuckin skateboarder guy. I was the guy who, sit in the recording studio and play video games, choke down bong hits all day long, and order pizzas. All of a sudden I left that and it was like, fuck it, I'm going to run this. I remember the same people that told me I was too big to be a fucking runner. We're telling me, same people told me I couldn't run a marathon. Same people who told me I couldn't finish a fucking 50 K. So I went and blasted it on the fucking internet during COVID. I'm running a fucking hundred miles for my fucking, birthday. I was, I think I was in my mid forties. It's like 45 or 46. But also when you blast it like that, you are held accountable. I'm held accountable for it. So, and I also needed all the fucking doubters. I'm gonna show you what the fuck's up. And who the fuck I am. And you thought you knew me. You don't fucking know me at all. I went out to the desert and went and met up with my friend and we hopped in her little SUV and she showed me the course that her and her boyfriend had made for us. Fucking out in the middle of the desert. It was hot. Did you have two laps or just one lap? I think it was one fucking 20 or 10 mile. I think it was like 11 mile loop. Okay. And fucking, we drove it in her car and this is a place called Buckley Ponds. I'll never forget it. It was like fucking, one of the gnarliest moments of my life. I was like, fuck. She goes, okay, our start time is going to be at six o'clock in the morning tomorrow. You know, she's like, get some good rest, get all your shit together. She's like, I'm going to show you how to do this on the fly. She gave us a pace we needed to keep. And she had a little whiteboard. She was like, every time you do your loop, you need to write down your timing and your pace. We had all this fucking food and, you know, friends from the town. There's no COVID and fucking, Bishop, you know, people didn't fucking care. So everybody showed up to help. We started our race in the morning and fucking, it was one of those things where it was just like, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do this, but I'm going to do this and I need to believe in myself. Went out there and I ran my first a hundred miles in, I think it was 30, just under 32 hours. Wow. That's an amazing accomplishment. It was one of those things to where, you know, people can't fathom doing things like that. I couldn't really fathom doing things like that, but I knew it was possible. It wasn't quite sure if it was something possible for myself. How did your body feel? Were you delirious? You got all the adrenaline in the beginning, and it was like any other run. I'd gotten through the first, like, 30 miles, and I was like, Fuck yeah, I'm fucking Yeah, you're good. I got this, I'm good, I'm a fucking badass motherfucker. Then it was like I remember mile 50. Mm hmm. Hit. And it was like, oh, fuck. My body's shutting down. I'm tired. I'm fucking hungry. She had me on a schedule where I was taking salt pills to keep my sodium up and stay hydrated and I was following all of her directions, but naturally your body can only fucking do so much. Then all of a sudden, you know, what they call running or anything, it's the wall. Hitting the wall is normally what takes you out. Then the little pains start happening. That's when the mental part of trail endurance happens. Endurance is something, when people think of endurance, it's like, you know, how fast can I get there? It's really not. It's, it can be, but it's more about what are you willing to endure to get there? That's what I got from the word endurance. I had to push through some fucking shit, you know? And I remember all of a sudden it's dark outside and it's cold as fuck and I'm fucking dehydrated. I'm still out on the fucking trail. I got a crew member with me now and she's all bubbly, fucking happy and i'm out there just fucking suffering. I'm like you just showed up, stop talking to me. I got fucking 30 miles left, Just make sure I don't get lost. All of a sudden like my feet, I remember hitting mile 90, looking down at my Garmin watch and I was like, holy fuck i'm 90 miles in and I got 10 miles left I've already seen the fucking moon twice. My fucking arches, my feet felt like they were going to cave in. One of the things that like I didn't touch on earlier, like my dad, like I said, I, I wasn't keen on sports. I was always the sensitive kind of fucking artist kid. Got called a pussy a lot from my dad, got called a fag a lot from my fucking dad. I think at one point my parents thought I was fucking gay. At least my dad did, you know? It's cause I wasn't into anything fucking manly. I shaved my legs, dyed my hair fucking blue. It was fucking punk rock and skateboarding. I was getting ready to fall apart. I had 10 miles left. Whenever I would quit shit or I'd be on the fucking wrestling mat, my father would always fucking slap me. And Fuckin Tell me to stop being a pussy. Go out and fucking kill that dude. When I was wrestling, right, you know, stop being a fucking pussy and I'm out in Bishop and I end up on this, the last 10 miles is this two lane stretch of highway through the desert. I remember being like, fuck, it came out onto the road and I wanted to quit. There's these mountains fucking in the distance. I see these big fucking clouds coming over the fucking mountains. I'm like, fuck, it's going to start fucking raining. What the fuck am I going to do? And, you know, like we had talked before, I hadn't processed, like, at this point, this is fucking five years later, I hadn't processed any of my dad's fucking death. I just got into jiu jitsu and fucking running, obsessing on everything I fucking ate and wasn't dealing with What was really fucking, you know, what had happened what was killing me inside. Yeah. It starts raining and all of a sudden it's fucking thunder and I'm fucking walking, all of a sudden I hear my dad's voice. He calls me a pussy. Fuck you. Fucking hate you. Lightning through the sky. Then all of a sudden I was like, I'm a pussy. I'm all, fuck you, you know, I'm yelling and all of a sudden my walking turns into running. And my running turns into sprinting. I pull out my phone and I go live on Facebook. And then all of a sudden Tom and my buddy Joe, all my friends, show up and start blowing up my shit. Running down this road. I got my hands up and I'm like, I'm a pussy motherfucker. Fuck you, you know You're the bitch you know and It was like that moment when fucking lieutenant Dan and Forrest Gump's fucking he's got his fucking legs blowing off and He's having that angry moment with God On the mast of that boat during the hurricane. That's how I felt. I have this moment where some acceptance had happened. Hearing my dad say that motivated me, to push. He always motivated me to push. Even if the words weren't kind, cause he wasn't that kind of dude, I needed to hear that. And then at the same time, hearing that I'd experienced hatred, love, forgiveness. Good. And I got so caught up in the moment. I ran an extra mile past the fucking finish line, and I came back around, hit the finish line, fucking hurrah. I just ran a hundred miles and 101 miles, 101 miles. It pops up every year on my Facebook memories, you know? Mm-hmm And I, I looked at my Facebook page and there's fucking thousands of people. They were watching me. Run the shit. And I didn't, I didn't even realize it. It was badass. You know, and some of my like, really famous music friends were on there rooting for me, and fucking got all these phone calls. All of a sudden, like, my life was different. I was, I got known for fucking, you know, a lot of people do it now. It's still a big accomplishment, but at the time, you know, not everybody was running 100 mile races. Then, just like music, I got addicted to the attention. You know, ran a couple more. You know, and it was a huge part of my life, and then the world kinda fuckin opened up, and I had to go back to fuckin work, back to jujitsu, and You know, all of a sudden I wasn't known for being Mark the fucking music guy anymore. I became Mark the endurance athlete. I became Mark the dude who's totally dedicated to everything he does in his life. Became Mark the dude who shows up for people. You never know where fucking your life's gonna go. Especially when you're in your fifties. When you're younger, you're just like, Oh, this is where I'm at. I don't really got fucking much to base life off of, except I'm young, right? And, you know, I've done all these things. I went from being, you know, lost kid with a sick dad, living with his grandparents, to no fucking friends, and not fitting in, to I found skateboarding. Then I went from Mark, fuckin the skateboarder dude, getting his girlfriend pregnant, getting arrested, being told I was a fuckin loser, not gonna do anything with my life, to, you know, signing a fuckin big record deal Then, left music, and was completely fuckin lost again. I reinvented myself as a runner. Started taking my parenting more serious in my child's life. Everything kind of comes back full circle and, you know, it Jiu Jitsu, my running. They all serve a purpose for me, I'm such an addict when it comes to certain stuff It's like if it feels good I'm doing it all the way, you know, whether it's fucking sex, partying, jiu jitsu, running I'm all the way in or I'm fucking not in it at all, right I've always struggled with balance and then about three years ago, my super long term girlfriend and I parted ways. After fucking 19 years. I stopped running. Spent a whole year fucking showing up to Jiu Jitsu and fucking just watching my friends fucking train. I was like, alright, I'm going to start going back into fucking Jiu Jitsu full blast and fucking getting my running under, getting my miles back in with my runs, and then I tore my groin. I remember that. I started doing the whole fucking dating thing again. And kind of just got away from everything and was trying to figure my life out. I don't know. Life's a trip. You know, it's one of those things to where anything I've wanted to be when I've grown up and I'm a grown up now, right? But all, all of my dreams, you know, I've learned if I work hard, they come true. That's great. Every time I've been down and out in my life, I can look back. I can look at what I've achieved. And some of the crazy shit that I've done and, you know, realized if I don't give up, I can do anything. It's funny because when I talk to people sometimes they're just like, oh sure you've traveled the world and played a band You know, I'm sure you're fucking this. Oh fucking, you know, you run to your fucking what are you fucking Forrest Gump? Fucking tattooed Forrest Gump, you know I'm super fortunate. I come from a I've got a good family Got a lot of people that support me, that's they're still with me from my music days. My running community, my jiu jitsu community, I've got so many people that show up for me, but I, I show up for everybody too. It's not one sided. I try to make sure I, I give back. Absolutely. On that note, let's talk about your family now. Your son? I've got a 27 year old son, his name's Gage, he is a four stripe blue belt. He's not training right now, he's doing his own thing, he's a man. I can't force him to go to Jiu Jitsu with dad. He's been in the gym with me since he was like 13 years old. Boxing or rolling and, he's doing his own thing. I've got a, you know, I'm such a fucking wild kid. I've ended up with a, such a kind, thoughtful, young man. He's the complete opposite of fucking me in everything he does in his life. I'm still a body piercer. I've been a trainer and a coach now, shit since I was like 35. Started coaching off and on. You know, still help out around the gym, teaching fundamentals or the kids class with you guys. I'm, as I'm getting older, I'm leaning more fitness and helping people, helping people with life. I've gone through a lot of shit and I've overcome a bunch of stuff and, nothing is more rewarding than being a teacher or a coach. It's not the title that goes with it. It's watching somebody's life change. I saw a gentleman on your Instagram, older gentleman that, started off with you and you coached him through this whole transformation. What's his name? Jimmy. You know, he During COVID, I had to find a source of income and I ended up with a whole gym in my garage. Jiu Jitsu mats, weights, all of it. And another one of my friends, he had hit me up because he was watching all my, everybody's watching all my fucking training shit during COVID. And long term friend of mine, he'd hit me up. He's a tattoo guy. I'm not going to say his name, but, he was like, I relapsed and he had some sobriety and he was like, I'll give you 400 bucks a month to babysit me or a week and I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, I'm still tattooing. He goes, I can't get back on shit. He goes, I need to start training and get my shit together. Just let me come hang out with you at your house and fucking train and I'll just pay you. So kids started showing up at my house. Started giving him fucking boxing lessons and working on some jiu jitsu shit in the garage, lifting weights, the assault bike, battle ropes, fucking everything. We'd work out and he'd just hang out at my house all day until I cut him loose at night, and we did it every day. And then the older gentleman, Jimmy, who's still one of my clients, he'd been my neighbor, him and his brother. And I lived in this fuckin upscale neighborhood in Mountain View, which is pretty snooty, full of tech people, and I was this fuckin tattooed fuckin dude who lived there, so all my neighbors just kinda fuckin looked at me like, fuckin who's this fuckin piece of shit that fuckin lives in our fuckin million dollar neighborhood, you know? I'd always say hi to dude, and he'd never say hi back. And I was just like, alright, fuck this guy, you know? It's fuckin nine years after the fact, and he shows up one day when I'm training my client. He goes, you're a trainer? I was like, yeah. He was like, I'm your neighbor. I was like, I know. Fucking waved at you a thousand times. He's like, I just got out of rehab. I was like, okay. He was like, I need to start exercising and get my shit together. What do you charge an hour? I was like, fuck, I don't know. You know, and he's like, I'm rich. Just give me a fucking number. So I turned, I think he was like 69 at the time. He was out of shape, never done nothing. And then, all COVID showed up in my fucking house every day. And then, I watched this little. Dude who, wasn't in shape at all, he's got fucking abs and bowling balls for fucking shoulders and, he's training with me every day. It was an amazing transformation just to see him grow. So like I said, I've been a coach and I've been teaching, some form of self defense or martial arts. When I'd lost my job teaching I kind of put that away and signed up for Jiu Jitsu and was like, you know what? I'm I've been leading this band for fucking ever. I Fucking ran this program at the old school You know It's time for me to step away from fucking teaching and put on a fucking white belt and fucking let somebody else take the fucking wheel. I went away from treaching and COVID kind of brought me back into it you know, the world came back and I ended up, having to go back to work and my shop needed me. Honestly, I didn't, I didn't have any intention of going back to work as a body artist. I was like, fuck, I love training people. I feel the best when I'm training people. I got caught up back in the cycle of being at work again. Right. And all the stuff. I'm fortunate to where I've got a lot of freedom and a lot of opportunity with my work. But as I'm getting older now, I don't wanna be that fucking, that body piercer with Coca-Cola glasses on. You know, a fucking shaky hand. Trying to fucking see. So, you know, just getting all my certs for fitness and nutrition and all that stuff's like my goal right now. I like helping people. It's my calling. It's something I've always been good at. whether, I'm talking to people about running, talking to people about jiu jitsu, teaching fitness. I'm addicted to watching improvement with people. It feels just as good to me as being on stage in front of 25, 000 people. It feels just as good as running 100 miles. It's super important to me. My life's a lot different. I never could have fathomed them when I was in my 30s. I had success and fame in my 20s and 30s, but it doesn't mean shit to me anymore. Fame doesn't mean shit to me anymore. Chasing girls doesn't mean shit to me anymore. Getting together and partying doesn't mean shit to me anymore. The things that mean most to me is how my family looks at me. How my friends look at me. You know, all the other shit is just, it's all smoke and mirrors. That's awesome. If anybody would like to train with you, Mark, where would they get a hold of you? they can find me under RedEyeSamurai on Instagram or, they can find me on Facebook. Mark Herman. It's weird. I'm starting my whole life over again. In my 50s, I've worn a lot of hats in my life and change is scary especially when you're fucking comfortable. I ended up in a new relationship a couple years ago, it's almost been two years and I'm with a partner who inspires me very much. I've watched her go through a bunch of stuff. And, I've got somebody that I wake up to, almost every day. I watch her fucking like a soldier, just trudge through shit. It's, a trip. It's inspiring. It makes me get up every day and want to be better and having somebody who's like, yeah, change is going to fucking suck. Life's going to fucking suck for you for a little bit, but you're going to be all right, so just have faith in whatever guy up in the sky is watching God whoever the fuck it is. I don't care what his name is, but something's always fucking led me towards the light. Into do a better situation, you know, so that's me. That's awesome, Mark. Well, thank you for being here. Let's end with that positive note. I hope you can come back on the podcast another time. Maybe tell us a couple of other stories. I mean, I, I've done so much fucking oddball shit, you know, we could talk all fucking day. I'm a talker. Yeah. Well. I really admire you, Mark. and I have so much respect for you. As a friend, thank you again. I appreciate you. Thank you. Bye.